Lazy Storm

First of all, I have to tell you how out of it I am. ...I just started typing out my blog post, in the subject line. Talking my fingers to the keys, going on and on, and then I suddenly snapped out of it, only to realize that "hey wait... why is my page blank?". Wow Tia, go get some dang sleep.

But anyways, what I was going to write about, or more like- show you about, is the lazy storm that has clouded up and saturated the inside of our house.

We have the flu.
All of us.
Even the baby.
But not Christopher, because he got a flu shot.

Well, we're kind of on the mend now, with the exception of some pretty terrible coughs that may or may not require a chest x-ray or two tomorrow, and an awesome sinus infection for me, but- for the past week, we've been doing a whole lotta this...






Our eyes are bugging out of our heads, our skin is pale (okay, well Evelyn's skin is always pale anyways), and we just can't seem to do anything other than cough and complain.

Will the sickness ever end??

Lets hope for a rainbow brighter post tomorrow.
Also, some motivation.

Flashback Friday- Instax Bowling

Its 10:44 on Thursday night, and I've just now finished doing the dishes and cleaning the counters from the dinner that we ate 3 hours ago. There are piles of laundry to the left of me (I completely forgot that Christopher had started loads before he left for work, and failed to pick up the slack), and piles of shoes and toys to the right of me (again, slack left untamed). The kids are still sick, the razorblades in my throat have dulled only slightly, and- I just had to turn down a hot skype date with my friend Lacey because of how mama-tastic I look (squash spitup on my shoulder and a bandanna hiding any trace of a hairline- things aren't lookin' pretty on this end, tonight).

So since I haven't left the house (other than to go to the doctor's office, and for a friendly photo shoot downtown) in a week, I'm going to flashback to a month or so ago, when we took the kids bowling!

I got a new Instax camera for Christmas, so I took that along with us, instead of my Canon. I thought it would be fun for a change. And the look on the guys face (dude at the counter) when I mentioned something about film, was priceless.

"film... whats that?"
I know, right?!

Now, lets bowl-



Eleanore, hands in the air, jumping up and down at the thrill of knocking down just two pins. I can't even tell you how many times the guy had to go out into the lane to retrieve her frozen ball from its sluggish travels. She insisted so many times on doing it herself. So we let her. Even if her ball didn't go more than three feet.

And then the gal under Elie, is my friend Carrie (and her son's head, which isn't actually as close to the ball as it appears to be) mid bowl. I think that one was actually a gutter ball, but she knew I was taking the picture., soooo... totally not her fault.



This was the kids first time bowling. Eleanore fell in love with it. She brings it up every day still- "but yoou said we can start going more ooooften!" (did you read that in the whiny tone of type that I was trying to achieve?). Well we are going to go more often, though. Too bad the one time that we did try to go since then, the bowling alley was shut down for a tournament. That would have been nice to know before we unloaded the kids and got to the entrance, right? ...we ended up spending $20 on junk at the BX instead, just to prevent epic meltdowns and get ourselves home without any bone breaking tantrums.

Now Charlie, who was one lane over in the "boys only" lane, totally kicked all of our butts. He was a bowling superstar, even if they didn't have shoes small enough to fit his tiny tubby toes. I didn't get to spy on him as much as I did his sister, due to my being in the girls lane, and him squatting under his Daddy's spread legs (you're welcome ladies, for the butt shot).

Okay, and because its somehow been an hour that I've been sitting here at the computer (I guess I'm waiting up for Christopher, to greet him when he comes home from his swing shift at work?), I'm going to go ahead and wrap it up with just one more...

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Flashback with us! Go through your polaroids, scrapbooks, old crappy cell phone pictures- whatever you've got. Scan them, upload them, get them onto the computer somehow, and then share them with the world! Or... with us at least. Post them onto your blogs, write a little bit to go with them- tell us your story. When you're all finished, grab one of our buttons from down below (wayyyy down there at the bottom of our page) and put it somewhere inside your post (or link back to us the old fashioned text way). Come back here to this post, and add your link to the photo list below!

Reporting From Big Sisters Bedroom Floor

Hey guys, Evelyn here.
Soooo, things aren't going so well in our house today. Mommy had a heck of a time getting me to sleep last night, because I kept dropping my binky, and well- lets be honest, its wayyyy easier to cry about it and have her come put it back in my mouth for me, than for me to pick it up myself. I'm only a baby, ya know?

Mommy woke up and said something about swallowing razorblades? ...I don't know what those are, or why she would want to swallow them, but- she was talking kinda funny for awhile, and kept drinking water.

But you know whos really not feeling well?



My big sister.
It all started about 13 days ago. Elie woke up one morning and said that she had a sore throat, and then later that night she woke up crying, and Mommy had to run up the stairs and change her bed sheets and change her clothes? And then the next day she had a runny nose, and it just kept getting worse and worse, and nowwww shes got this awful cough, and Mommy makes her cover her mouth and makes her eat candy drops that aren't really candy?



Yesterday we went to the doctors office, and had to sit on the sick side, even though I'm not sick, and when the doctor looked in seesaw's throat, he said something about green stuff and a sinus injection.



...hold on, let me get more comfortable.



Okay, now I don't know about you guys, but I don't like anything thats green (yuck!). Also, what are sinuses?

So anyways, sister has been spending a lot of time in her room, laying in her bed, complaining about how bored she is.



Mommy has her room stocked with her favorite movies (and she just got two new ones in the mail from our Grammy today!!), tissues, and a pink bucket? Mommy got that bucket last time she was at the hospital. I only remember, because I had to drink that gross stuff that comes in the plastic boob.



And while sister was up watching Piglet's Big Movie, brothers face got really pink, and he started acting funny. He won't keep his fingers out of his ears, and he keeps saying his nose hurts. Mommy says he has to go to the doctor tomorrow.

But we were just there the day before yesterday!

I don't know you guys, I'm not too into all this sick stuff. Everyone whines and mopes around. Less singing to me, more sitting on the couch. I'm not a fan.



And sister's eyes look weird. They're all glossy, and they have dark things under them.

I don't like it. I miss my happy family.

So while everyone else is dealing with sinus injections and wiping their faces with white fluffy things- I think I'm going to just hang out in Mom's arms, drinking milk non stop, for the next couple of days. Its not like shes got anything better to do, right?

I'm a baby, so what.



This is Evelyn, over and out.

Better Than Bike Parts

Christopher got a package in the mail- some parts for his bike (because the dang thing broken down since the end of November), and the kids went crazy. Ever since Christmas time, the kids go wild for opening boxes. They think that everything that comes is for them- which makes sense, since most of the time it is for them, but- this time it wasn't.

So when Daddy started pulling out big belty looking things (that Charlie later tried to put on his head, and around his neck), and tiny little bolt something or others in plastic packages- the kids were kind of dissapointed.

Umm, but wait kids! Mommy has something for you. And its way better than scooter parts. I promise...

What is it, Mama? What is it?!
asked the littlest.


What could be better than scooter parts?
the boys wondered.
...................



...Thats right. Bubble wrap.

You're welcome, babies.

It All Has To Start Somewhere

Last night Christopher and I watched that movie "Away We Go", have you seen it? The one where the cutest couple in the world (in terms of both personality and wardrobe) go on an adventure to figure out where they want to raise their unborn baby? With Jim from The Office and Maya Rudolph, the chick from SNL? ...Okay well anyways, I fell in love with that movie. I want to watch it over and over again. I didn't grow up feeling the way that Verona did (the pregnant lady, main character), towards her Mother. But I certainly do want my kids to feel that way about me.

I want to be a wonderful mother.

The movie reminded me to stop worrying about the stupid stuff. Making a mess in the kitchen, the other babies crying because I wasn't dividing my attention equally in that very moment (I'll never be able to do that)- things like that.

Because really, what stops me most of the time, from giving special attention to one child, is the thought of having to slightly neglect another in order to do it. Well I'm done with that. I'm done with the worry. They all need special attention, and they're going to have to take turns dealing with it.

So tonight I decided it was time that Eleanore start learning how to bake our way. Nobody else is going to teach her what flours do what, which starch has a more natural flavor, or what in the heck xanthan gum is- and besides, I want this kid baking circles around me by the time she hits middle school, so- we made biscuits.



With her hair a mess, and her hoodie on the floor- I pulled up a chair beside the counter for her to stand on, and closed the baby gate behind me, locking out intruders of the sibling and father variety.

She stood there in her pajama pants, anxious to learn. There were no distractions to break our concentration. Just a counter full of ingredients, the recipe taped to the cabinet in front of us, and a glass mixing bowl filled with tapioca, millet, and several other flours that would eventually come together to make up a side dish to our homemade chicken noodle soup.



She said she was cold, standing topless there in the kitchen, with her hoodie thrown onto the floor behind her. Well why didn't you wear a shirt then, go get one! ...but she didn't want to miss a thing.

Theres a rainbow in the bowl! she shouted
Do you see it there? Towards the middle? ...The sun was starting to set, and the light was streaming in through the back window, reflecting off of something and bouncing directly into our batter. Every time I'd press down and cut the butter into the flour, she'd yell "Stop! You're crunching the rainbow!".

No no, silly. Its still there. Even Mommy can't crunch a rainbow.

"Well I can!" ...so she said, taking the tools into her own hands.



Crunch, crunch, crunch
And then a minute or two later, the sun had moved enough to where- Eleanore really had crunched the rainbow away. It was gone, and all that was left in the bowl was un baked biscuits. With a new ingredient. ...rainbow.

She had put all of the ingredients into the bowl herself, even the messy potato starch that fluffs up into the air and gets all over the counter. She had scooped out the baking powder, and leveled it off on the canister like a big girl. Shes the one that mixed all of the wet into the dry, creating an oh so delicious adaptation of what most Americans usually buy from a pop open can. I'm proud of you Elie.



Look at her tiny hands, resting gently on the counter top, anxious for something more to do- something new to learn.

She wants to help.
She wants to have meaning.
She wants to discover who she is.

And today I realized that I'm the one that has to open her eyes and heart to anything and everything, because if I don't, who will?

...do you think I can steal a picture, in this beautiful moment of Mother daughter bonding?



Remember Eleanore, that it all has to start somewhere. And for you and me, it was in a bowl of gluten free biscuits.

Flashback Friday- A Happy Birthday To A Best Friend

I'm happy to say that this week has been much better than last week, although- things still aren't quite back to being one hundred percent (but really, will they ever be?).

But rather than filling up this space with a end of the week ranting recap, I'm going to dig into my photo box, and pick out the very best memories I have- for Kalii.

Today (because I'm writing this on Thursday night) is my best friends birthday. Earlier this week I had a moment of panic, where I had completely forgotten what day she was born on, cried hysterically on the couch, and send her a text message of all things, because I was too much of a mess to form words with my mouth, and apologized. Luckily, she understands what I'm going through lately, and forgave me without question.

Her opinion matters more to me than anybody elses, ever, so her forgiving me was like a jump start to my heart. What kind of Monster forgets their best friends birthday, anyways?

She knows me better than anybody. Christopher is catching up, due to his convenient location of sharing a bed with me, but- she will always understand me better than anybody else. And I, to her.

We call this picture "Fat Hand".
Kalii and I met in high school. We had a crappy dance class together, which she dropped out of (lucky), and then later on a study hall. We ran into each other at a show in Portland one night (Further Seems Forever, and A New Found Glory), both of us had gone alone. We ended up hanging out together that night, and then after that we were inseparable. We met up for coffee at the bookstore a few nights later, and then started going to shows together, and the next thing we knew, we were sharing penguin print pajama pants and I was falling asleep on her living room couch every other night.

We talk like each other. People ask if we're sisters.

We've only ever been in one fight.

She was there on my wedding day.
And I'll be there on hers (congratulations again, bride to be).



She wasn't able to come for the birth of my first baby, but I called her 1,000 times while I was in labor. I had been scheduled to be induced on a specific day, but my water had broken before then. She didn't have her phone with her, so I kept calling and leaving her voice mails. Every hour, I'd call her. I'd tell her how much it hurt when I was having a contraction, and during the calm moments, beg for her to answer. ...so in a way, she was there.

She flew to Texas shortly after. And she knew exactly how to love Eleanore. It came as natural to her, to love my baby, as it did to me. And thats why shes the Godmother of all 3 of my children.

We flew back home to Portland, that next Christmas (2006)...


Kalii & Eleanore


Driving around town


Taking pictures of ourselves drinking mochas?


Hanging out at her Mom's house


aaaand being absolutely awesome on the night before I went back home

I cried like a baby when I had to say goodbye. Because this time, saying goodbye to her was real. The time before that, when I had gone away to meet my husband at his basic training graduation in Texas, and to have my baby and start my new life as a mother and military spouse- I thought I'd be moving back. I thought the Air Force would take us home to Washington.

I was young and stupid.

So this time when I said goodbye, I knew that Portland wasn't my home anymore, and that "goodbye" meant, I'll see you when I see you, rather than, breakfast at The Paradox next week?



But we somehow managed to come back 8 months later, for Eleanore's first birthday.

And then shortly after that, she flew back out to Texas, for my first art show...


Eleanore just had to pick her nose, didn't she?

It was a short visit, that last one, but it sure was fun. We road tripped to Oklahoma City, we listened to good music, we stayed at an internet friends house, we got to go to a cool no-boys-allowed art show, and before she went back home we went to the zoo.

But that was the end of our frequent visits. When I became pregnant with Charlie, it was clear that we wouldn't be able to fly back home again. We could never afford it.

So a year went by.

And then another.

But for my 25th birthday, in May of 2009, she came back. To celebrate my quarter life, to crawl around on the floor playing kitty cats with Eleanore, and to meet Charlie for the first time...




I don't know how I didn't take more pictures that trip. I think I was so caught up in the 3 day moment, that my brain didn't even register how quickly it would pass me by.

When I took her to the airport, it was the hardest goodbye we've had yet. I cried so hard, on my way out to my car, that a complete stranger stopped me to ask me if I was okay. By the time I got to my car, my phone rang. Kalii was inside the airport bathroom, doing the exact same thing I was.

Hyperventilating.

I'm crying right now, while I write this. Never in my life have I missed anybody so much. When I talk to her on the phone, which is rare (its hard, ya know?), my entire day changes. Anything that was hurting me, is suddenly pain free. Any worries that I may have had, gone. She makes me smile. She makes me laugh. She brings out the part of me that has been buried under thousands of dirty diapers and hundreds of empty plastic bags from trips to the grocery store. She brings me to life.



We skyped, recently. She got to "meet" Evelyn. She got to see my red hair. I got to see her new short curls, and her naked Christmas tree slumped against a corner in her apartment that I've never been to. It was awkward at first, not having talked to her face to face in a year and a half, and here we were saying "what?!" over and over again, because we couldn't hear each other, through a screen. But when we ended the call- I couldn't stop smiling. My spirits had been lifted. It was kind of like I had never moved away. Like there hadn't been years stacking up between us.

We were back at the warped tour, dancing on stage to our favorite bands, and driving through flat lands looking for rest areas.

We were eating biscuits at My Fathers Place.

We were meeting at midnight for a Dennys cup of coffee, a gawk at the mullet and his wife spending their life savings at the stuffed animal crane machine, and a drive around The Couv in our matching brightly colored Ford Escorts.



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Flashback with us! Go through your polaroids, scrapbooks, old crappy cell phone pictures- whatever you've got. Scan them, upload them, get them onto the computer somehow, and then share them with the world! Or... with us at least. Post them onto your blogs, write a little bit to go with them- tell us your story. When you're all finished, grab one of our buttons from down below (wayyyy down there at the bottom of our page) and put it somewhere inside your post (or link back to us the old fashioned text way). Come back here to this post, and add your link to the photo list below!