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Sunday, January 29, 2012


Today we lost ourselves, for a few minutes, down by the rocks and crashing waves. We forgot where we were, forgot all obligations, rules, responsibilities- we existed only in the moment.

Picking up rocks, throwing them into the water, seeing and hearing them splash down and then disappearing. Observing something disappear is a lot calmer than I remember it being.

The wind was blowing harshly against our skin, but something like that fades into the background when there are bigger tasks at hand. Cheeks and lips quickly chap, fingers numbingly freeze, and teeth chatter with every gust of wind and scoop of moving earth.

But I could have stood out there and watched the kids all day long.



What a way to spend our last day in Abilene.

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I remember we had a sleeper sofa for a little while when I was a kid. Pulling the bed part out, no matter how uncomfortable, was awesome! Theres just something so cool about an ugly couch that turns into a bed, and then back into a couch! ...so thats one advantage to living in a hotel. The awesomeness that is the couch.


This rocked the kids worlds. They cozied up with all of thier pillows, blankets, and lovies- and had a slumber party with thier favorite movies right here in our makeshift living room.



Evelyn got a kick out of playing the gravity game with her dinner (Christopher was standing just beyond the frame- see her grinning up at him, waiting for his reaction?), the same way she does anytime shes sitting in a high chair with food in front of her. But this time: she actually ate. A hearty homemade potato soup mixed in with leftover brown rice- win win win.



She must finally be starting to feel better (a week and a half later). So fine, kid- go ahead. Throw it on the ground!



And I want to talk about something amazing that happened with Eleanore the other day: We were sitting on the couch before bed (or maybe I was in the kitchen at the table, its kind of a blur), and as the room quieted down, she asks "Mommy, can girls fall in love with other girls?". ...now this question is so heavy, and so loaded, and so detailed, and so... everything, that my head is immediately overcome with "is this happening, is this happening?". But more than that, my heart is overcome with joy. My eyes fill with tears, my breath is stolen from my lungs, and I'm just, happy, in a way that I've never felt before. In a way that I can't even begin to explain.

Eleanore- 5 years old. Learning about the world, and everything going on around her. Learning about love. Learning about who she is. Being, who she is.

So then Christopher and I look at each other, I release the breath that was never actually stolen, the breath that I was apparently just holding hostage, and I smile, then very matter of factly say "yes. Yes they can".

..."then thats what I'm going to do. I'm going to fall in love with a girl", says my outspoken little girl, as she bounces her legs up and down against the tacky carpet under her hello kitty slipper covered feet.

A precious moment in our documentary that I will never, ever, forget.