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Everything Happens For A Reason

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

This post wasn't going to be about this. The photos and content don't exactly flow, but- then again, they do.

Yesterday, just after putting the babies down for their quiet time, my phone rang.
It was Christopher. Christopher never calls me during the day. So rarely, that we have an ongoing joke that if he calls instead of texting- we must have gotten orders.

So today when the phone rang, in the back of my mind, we had gotten orders. And then when he said "I don't really know how to tell you this, but-" ... again, I thought we had gotten orders.

And then, instead of hearing the words that my mind had hyped itself up to hear- he paused, took a deep breath, and said.. "I just got into a car accident".

I thought he had taken his scooter. All I could see flashing through the projector screen on the back of my eyelids, was somebody hitting his scooter and throwing him across an intersection. I imagined him talking to me from a hospital bed, the only part of his body working being his heart and his voice, and I broke down.

I broke down so hard that I stopped breathing. I choked, and choked, and choked. There was air in the room, but I couldn't find it. I held my chest, my knees hit the mat that I was previously standing on, and I panicked.

Christopher was on the phone with me, talking to me, but still- my heart had been attacked by terror, and I assumed the worst. I just couldn't get the image of him being thrown from his scooter out of my mind.

Only. For some reason, on this day... he hadn't taken his scooter.
He took the van.

It wasn't until he said the words "the van is totaled", that the all too traumatizing image in my head started to clear, and the connection of his voice talking to me combined with the words "I'm okay" started to make sense.

He hadn't taken the scooter.
He had taken the van.

My hyperventilating slowed. A switch in my brain flipped from worry to anger, back to worry, back to anger, back to worry. He gave me a few details, and then hung up the phone. In the couple of minutes that we spoke though, I hadn't heard anything other than "I was in a car accident", and after his voice was gone, I went back into a panic.

The air in the room, gone again.

Where was he? Who was with him? How was he hurt? Was he okay?
Come home. Come home to me right now.
Call me back! Please, call me back.
Are you okay?
Thank God you didn't take the scooter. Thank God you're not broken.
Please don't ever scare me like this again.
Are you okay?

I called my Mom. I didn't know what else to do. And I went through every emotion in the book. By the time I got off the phone with her half an hour later, I was calm enough to breathe. She stabilized me. I opened the blinds, and I stared out the window, waiting for him to drive up.

After a few minutes passed, and he didn't come home- the panic came back.
Seriously, heart? Give me a break.
Lungs, breathe.

My best friend called. When we finished crying hysterically, and finished talking about what didn't happen/ what could have happened- she kept me company long distance, and distracted my worst fears from overwhelming me, until he got home.

I ran outside with the baby in my arms, and looked for him frantically. I hugged him, and then pushed his embrace away, and started touching the right side of his body, asking if my touch hurt. He said he was ok, but I didn't believe him. I still don't believe him. I keep looking for marks. How is he so lucky?

Our van is trashed. His armor, towed away, headed for the junk yard.

My husband is alive.
My babies are alive.
My family is alive.
Thank God, he took the van.

It could have been so much worse.

And at least now we know I play it cool when under pressure right?
...ok not so much.

Looks like for the time being its just the five of us, and a motor scooter. How many cartons of soy milk do you think you can strap to the back of a Ruckus?
We'll soon find out!


Lauren October 20, 2010 at 10:27 PM  

Oh gosh, thats so scary. Take lots of deep breaths & give that hubby lots of smooches until you're both feeling back to normal again.

Amanda October 20, 2010 at 10:45 PM  

first - OMG, that is SOOOO scary!!!!

second - OMG - eleanore looks SO grown up!!!! :)

Chelsey - The Paper Mama October 20, 2010 at 10:49 PM  

Oh my goodness. I'm so happy he's ok.

beka October 20, 2010 at 10:52 PM  

Talk about a touching post.
Grabs you by the throat.
But....oh man...
Thank God.

Anonymous,  October 20, 2010 at 11:04 PM  

Girl, I was so worried when I saw your tweets! I'm so glad he's alright. I can only imagine how scared you were :(


Lacey October 20, 2010 at 11:13 PM  

I tell ya, I had a tinge of anxiety in my chest too when I read about this on facebook. I'm so glad to hear that there isn't a scratch on him. Hold him tight-tight, Mama. Tight-tight!

Allison October 20, 2010 at 11:51 PM  

I am so very cery glad he's okay.

And I really hope your insurance covers a rental car. Or the other guy's does, if it was his fault.

Allison October 20, 2010 at 11:52 PM  

I have to correct what I just wrote you. *If his insurance company will agree that it is his fault and you don't have to go Tia-zilla on them.

Sorry, my other comment didn't sound nice at all.. I didn't mean it that way!

TexasBobbi October 21, 2010 at 12:24 AM  

I am so glad he is okay. It stinks about the van but that is replaceable, just a piece of metal.

Anonymous,  October 21, 2010 at 12:45 AM  

Thank goodness! Everything really does happen for a reason.. and sometimes talking it through with someone can really calm you down while you wait.. because waiting is the worst during situations like that.

Krystle October 21, 2010 at 12:49 AM  

Wow. That is crazy scary and amazing! I am soooo glad to hear that he is ok!

Thank you Lord that he took the van!!!!!!!!


Amy Nielson October 21, 2010 at 2:03 AM  

wow, SO glad everything turned out alright. this could have been so much worse! everything does happen for a reason, & it's a great reminder to cherish every. single. moment.

R Montalban October 21, 2010 at 5:53 AM  

You are so right, thank god he took the van. I am so happy you are all ok.

Emily October 21, 2010 at 6:47 AM  

I'm glad everybody is okay. I hope everything works it's way out quickly and you are not a scooter family for long.
Were your carseats damaged? If you need it I have an infant seat and base with your name on it.

Devon October 21, 2010 at 6:58 AM  

thank goodness he is OK!! that is so scary! i know first hand the panic... my sister was in an accident and they had to use the jaws of life to get her out (there were head injuries, shattered elbow, hole in the lung, etc)... Christopher is very fortunate!!! i hope you are all able to find another van soon!!

Colleen October 21, 2010 at 6:59 AM  

Oh, wow... that's so scary. I'm so glad that he's okay.
Sorry about the van. I know that's going to be tough for a while. I wish I were the car fairy and I could just send you a new one.

Kelly Irene October 21, 2010 at 8:06 AM  

Wow, Tia. I'm so glad he is OK and that he took the van! Thanks for sharing this with us. I hope today is peaceful for all of you!

Fallon October 21, 2010 at 8:20 AM  

Gee sorry you had the life scared out of you. As much as a inconvenience it may be (about loosing the van), at least your hubby is alive and well. That big ol van of yours and that Man upstairs saved him =)

Jen Newsham October 21, 2010 at 8:44 AM  

That is so scary. I am so glad that he took the van and is alright. Nothing takes your breathe away like a phone call like that.

Lisa@goodknits October 21, 2010 at 8:44 AM  

your tweets were SO frightening! I felt panic for you! I'm glad he's ok, though. I hope the van being totaled doesn't cause too much trouble.

Anonymous,  October 21, 2010 at 9:20 AM  

Thank God everyone is alright!!! We will be saying lots of prayers for all..and hopefully something will work out soon for a vehicle!! Keep your heads up!

jill October 21, 2010 at 9:27 AM  

oh tia, that is so scary. my eyes just welled up with tears. i had the same situation happen to me a little over two years ago. and unfortunetly i think about it every single day now. i am so so so happy he is safe and unharmed!

Chelsea October 21, 2010 at 9:46 AM  

I'm glad everything is ok. That would be the worst feeling ever!

CourtneyKeb October 21, 2010 at 11:04 AM  

I bet your so mixed up emotionally crossing being thankful he's okay and angry to be without a vehicle.

I so feel for you, girl!

Rogue Wild October 21, 2010 at 11:04 AM  

so glad he is ok and that he listened to the voice that told him to take the van!!

Anika October 21, 2010 at 1:03 PM  

Glad to hear everything ended up okay and nobody was hurt. Good thoughts your way!

Megan Harmeyer October 21, 2010 at 2:37 PM  

Oooh! Reading this post made me so anxious. I'm glad that your hubs is ok even though the van is totaled. Things like that can be replaced. Your hubs? Notsomuch.

Kari October 21, 2010 at 3:10 PM  

First, I am so thankful that he is ok. What a horrbile experience for you. Second... you REALLY have a way with words. I was struggling not to cry while reading this.

BarefootedMama October 22, 2010 at 12:57 AM  

I cried when I read your post, it was so heart breaking. It brought me back to my own car accident and my now husband calling me outta the blue cause he knew something was wrong, while my dad similtaniously called me. Car accidents are scary to be involed in and be the one getting the phone cal about it. I am glad your husband is ok. You have a beautiful family btw.

Karen October 23, 2010 at 10:12 PM  

So glad your Christopher is not hurt. Too bad about the van, BUT YOUR CHROSTPHER IS NOT HURT! blessings on your day, k

Memoirs of a Mental Mind October 23, 2010 at 11:59 PM  

I'm sooo glad that he is ok. So sorry about your van though. Totally sucks. Hopefully you'll get some Insurance $ from it.

Jessie C October 24, 2010 at 9:32 AM  

Oh wow. :( I'm so glad he's okay.

.adri. October 24, 2010 at 7:54 PM  

I can only imagine how terrified you were. I'm so glad he's ok though! XoXo


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