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And Then There Were Three

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Things are different. The way that we wake up in the morning, the way that we read our stories, the way that we stack our blocks.

Mom doesn't make pancakes everyday, like she used to. Charlie has to walk down the stairs like a big boy. And big sister Eleanore has to put down her favorite storybook, sometimes at the very best part- to be the big helper that Mommy and Daddy so desperately need.

First it was Eleanore.

Then Eleanore and Charlie.

And now- Eleanore, Charlie, and Evelyn.

The entire summer was spent wondering what life would be like after our new baby was born. What would she look like, how would her cry sound, and most of all- how would her brother and sister adjust?

The answers are slowly starting to develop.
Every day we learn something new.

She has strawberry blond hair, dark blue eyes, and her cries are heard so little that when they do sing out- we can't help but smile.

And as for how the older siblings are adjusting, well...

Its a struggle.
The struggle is out of love, we know, but still- its a struggle.

They fight for Mommy and Daddy's attention, "just 5 more minutes in the spotlight, please!" they beg.

The struggles are streaked with curiosity about this little baby that doesn't yet know how to play Ring Around The Rosies.

Or talk.

Or blow kisses.

The middle child is taking the hardest hit of them all, having gone from being the baby, to... the big brother.

The sadness in his screams of jealousy are enough to break a Mama's heart.

But at the same time, when the first words out of his mouth in the morning are "Evelyn June", how could we have ever doubted that this was the right thing to do?

Daddy has two hands.
And he'll always have time to pick up and put back binkys.

While Eleanore is loving all of her "special big helper" responsibilities- brushing Evelyn's hair, helping put on her socks, watching her closely while Mommy gets up to get a glass of water...

Charlie is missing the days of snuggling in Mommy's empty lap, and sitting on Mommy's hip while going from place to place.

It'll get better, baby, I promise.
My hip is still here for you.
You just have to share it with your little sister

Between the adjustments and the acting out-

We see the love so clearly.

And this is how it was meant to be.

A great big thank you to our friend Whitney , for making our family these adorable matching shirts.

My New Normal

Monday, August 30, 2010

I smell like sour milk!

The other day, when it was 100 degrees outside and our air conditioner was broken, while my husband was off working the first of many 12 hour shifts, while I was attempting to go to the bathroom with a baby strapped to my chest (you've done it too, right?)- I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

Holy, crap.

That woman- the one with pit stains that go down to her knees, the one that smells like somebody threw up all over her (because somebody probably did)... yeah thats me.

Maybe you need a close up of the hair? ...

Theres baby poop in my ponytail!

Thats what it looks like when bobby pins have been piling up in a hair-like grease nest for 4 days.

You read that right. FOUR days.

Its not that I'm trying not to take a shower, because just thinking about hot water and soap, as I type this, puts a big imagining-being-pampered smile on my face. Between feeding two toddlers, a newborn (who has yet to learn what a bottle is- and I like it that way), a sasquatch, and on occasion- myself... somehow, the word "shower" gets forgotten. Personal hygiene altogether. The dishes need to get loaded into the washer. Somebody has to pick up the umbilical cord stump thats been laying on the floor for the past 3 days. And what is that smell? ...oh right. Again, its me.

Taking care of 5 people, is hard y'all!
My mom pointed out that I need to include myself, in the head count.

At least I remembered to put my glasses on today, instead of leaving them beside the bathroom sink, and then wondering why my eyes refuse to focus on anything more than 5 feet in front of me.

Maybe you need a full body shot? So you can see my pajamas-gone-uniform? Try not to be jealous...

I can't leave the house, because you can see my striped underwear straight through my thin floral print bottoms!

At least theres toilet paper on the roll, right? Clearly, my priorities are all exactly where they need to be *heavy on the sarcasm*.

I did get a shower though, a couple hours later. You can only be spit up and pooped on so many times before you crack under the smell pressure, and give in to glycerin products. The minute that Christopher walked in the door, while still in his uniform, having just worked that previously mentioned 12 hour shift- I handed off the baby, gave instructions on what to do should the oven beep, and disappeared for almost an entire hour- spending most of that time shaving my legs that hadn't been touched by anyone or anything other than anti blood clotting leg braces, for the past 3 weeks.

I have a feeling my jeans are going to stay on the out-of-reach closet shelf for a very long time, at the rate I'm going.

And while I know it sounds like I'm nothing but complaints, I wouldn't trade the mold growing on my unintentional dreadlocks for fresh air and adult interaction, even if you payed me.

Ok maybe if you payed me.

Giveaway: kunklebaby

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Hey, remember when I was away having a baby? And to keep y'all busy while I was gone, we had a giveaway (the baby neck coolers, remember? remember?)? Well we had so much fun doing that giveaway, that we decided to start an entire series of giveaways.

So. For the next... um... well until we get bored with it (or run out of sponsors, heh) I guess, we're going to have giveaways every Saturday! These giveaways will be sponsored by other mothers and indie business owners, and will be made up mostly of Mama/Baby items. Its not that I don't appreciate my non-mom readers (because I love you all!), its just that... well, this is the stuff that I like to feature, and giveaway.

To jump start our series of giveaway lovin'...

No, silly, we're not giving away Charlie.
Or peanut butter chocolate chunk cookies (although, I know you wish we were, yummm).
We're giving away a handmade bib by kunklebaby.

"Thats right, these cookies are allllll mine", he says.

Lets be real with each other. We don't buy cute things like this for ourselves, do we? Ever. Maybe once- maaaaybe. But honestly, have you ever gone to a boutique and walked out with a cute baby item for your own baby- probably not. At least, I haven't (I'm not alone, right?).

This is your chance!!
I mean, you won't be physically walking out of the boutique, swinging your brightly colored I-bought-something-from-that-really-cute-store bag, but- you know what I mean.

If you're not a mom, so what. A cute bib like this would be a knockout baby shower gift, so... don't be shy- everyone can enter.

I know that kids don't exactly need a bib for eating a cold cookie (if it was warm and melty, maybe), but if I heard "Horse! Horse! Hooooorrrrssseee!!!!" get screamed in my direction even one more time, bad things were going to happen. Charlie loves this bib. Not because its softer than the other ones that we have, or because it was made with lots and lots of love, but- because it has a big giant horse on it.

That being said- this isn't the exact bib that we're giving away. Sorry friends. Just like the chocolate chunk peanut butter cookie, this one is alllll Charlie's. And Evelyn's.

But thats ok, because you get to choose the bib that you win. Even better than the "Horrrrrrssseeee!!!!", right?

Win A Handmade Bib From Kunklebaby
Here are the rules...

-Go visit kunklebaby, and window shop. Pick out your favorite bib (organic bibs are off limits).

-Come back here to this blog post, and leave a comment telling us which bib you'd like to win, should Christopher draw your name from the hat (ok but in reality, I usually yell something like "honey pick a number between 1 and 78"- thats how we do things around here).

-Leave your email. Seriously. Leave, your, email. I don't care if we're blogging bff's, if we grew up together, or if you live next door- if you don't leave your actual email, by physically typing it out, then you just won't win.

-This giveaway is open to both US and Canadian residents.
-You can only enter once.
-Giveaway ends on September 3rd, and the winner will be notified by email (which is why you have to leave one!!).

*Additional entries*
You must leave one comment for each of the following entries, saying "I tweeted", or "I facebooked", or whatever. If you don't leave a separate comment for each additional entry, the entry will not count.

-Twitter: Copy and paste "Enter to win a handmade bib from kunklebaby and @TiaColleen at http://christopherandtia.blogspot.com/2010/08/giveaway-kunklebaby.html" into your status update.
-Facebook: Copy and paste the link to this giveaway on your wall, along with some kind of "Cute baby bib giveaway!" type status update to go along with it.

There you have it, friends. Our Saturday giveaway series has begun!
Now go. And good luck!

If you would like to sponsor a giveaway, you can get more details by clicking on our sponsor page here, and then sending us either an etsy convo or email.

Flashback Friday- The Bleach Stained Shoes That Could

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Wow, it is so much easier to blog/type/see things, on the big computer, rather than trying to work on my tiny little requires-reading-glasses-to-operate netbook. Its been almost 3 weeks since I've been able to sit down in this chair comfortably, and even now- I've got a baby in my arms, my elbow being used as a pillow, if you can picture that- while I type.

Raise your hand if you've got a similar picture of your converse shoes?!

...I think everyone on the planet, must have taken this same picture, in one way or another. Or... if you've never owned a pair of Chuck Taylors, then- wait, that person doesn't exist. I'm sure I'll get at least 3 comments begging to differ.

I'm sort of ridiculous, when it comes to shoes. And not in the way that you probably think. I hate shoes. I hate trying to find ones that fit comfortably. I hate spending money on things that you wear on your feet, that will only get dirty and worn out and probably cause blisters in the mean time- haaaate.

I either wear my converse, my running shoes (Adidas), or my flip flops (a pair of black ones from Target that I accidentally stole 2 years ago... how they're still functioning I'm not sure).

I've had the pictured-above pair of shoes, for going on... ummm... (thinking back and counting) ...7 years now. Wait no, maybe 8? I've had the shoe laces, for even longer- having gotten them when I was 16 years old, making them 10 years old. They don't even serve a purpose, at this point (the laces), seeing as how they've fallen apart and are only holding together in exactly the right spots. Or, appear to be, at least. I could never get away with taking them off of the shoes. That would be the end of them, for sure.

The bleach stains on the toes of my converse, are a result of my many nights working at the Woodland, Washington Subway restaurant. I was the assistant manager, and practically lived there. I opened, I closed- sometimes I did both. I can't even tell you how many times I mopped the floors there ...bazillions. And if I was really tired (probably from having had way too much to drink the night before, oh my wild child days *sigh*), then I'd pour extra bleach into the mop bucket, in attempts at using less of my energy, thinking I wouldn't have to scrub the floor as hard, to get it clean. Awesome, right? ...oh Tia.

Every year since living in Texas, the summers consist of nothing but flip flops and bare feet. And when fall rolls around, which it quickly is, and I have to wear actual shoes again, I'm happily greeted by my trusty Converse. Who cares if my pinkie toe on the right foot pokes out through a tiny hole in the fabric- we're still very much in love.

Yes, I just Flashback'd about my shoes. That really happened.

Flashback with us! Go through your polaroids, scrapbooks, old crappy cell phone pictures- whatever you've got. Scan them, upload them, get them onto the computer somehow, and then share them with the world! Or... with us at least. Post them onto your blogs, write a little bit to go with them- tell us your story. When you're all finished, grab one of our buttons from down below (wayyyy down there at the bottom of our page) and put it somewhere inside your post (or link back to us the old fashioned text way). Come back here to this post, and add your link to the photo list below!

Oh, and I'm really going to make an effort to step up my game as host, this week (newborn = no time for blog reading). Expect comments. And lots of them, heee.

Oh, hey! And if you get a chance, stop by on Saturday, for the kick off of our series of Saturday giveaways!! (trust me, there will be lots of super cute mom/baby stuff thats worth leaving a comment for.. which is also why I felt I needed to type it out in such a large font, the goodies are that good!)

Wordless Wednesday: The First Few Days

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Our Weekend In Review: Stuck On The Couch

Monday, August 23, 2010

I spent the weekend on the couch.

No, really. I spent the entire weekend, on the couch.

My recovery has been less than fantastic. Just a tear shy of torture, I'd say. A lot of it is my own fault though, as much as I hate to admit it. For some reason, I was under the impression that coming home from the hospital meant- things going back to normal. I thought that my release was kind of like a free pass, to get back into the kitchen, back into my chores, and back into my full go-go-go mentality.

Well I pushed myself too hard. I opened up my incision in 4 different places, started to develop and infection, and found myself stuck on the couch, unable to do anything other than eat, drink, and feed the baby. Christopher wouldn't let me so much as sit up to grab a glass of water. And while I found it extremely annoying, after the first 10 minutes of being treated like an injured queen, I gave in, cozied up with my pillows, and let myself heal.

Most of the pictures that I took over the weekend were from my little corner on the couch. Not the most exciting, but- ...

On Saturday morning, the kids watched cartoons. Its not very often that we spend a morning in front of the tv (sometimes we go days without even turning it on), but with my not being able to get up and move around- why not?

Being stranded twelve inches above the ground, gave me a lot of perspective. I watched Eleanore curl her feet behind her knees, as animated characters danced across the big screen in front of her. I observed Charlie's infatuation with passing cars and trucks, as his head turned towards the outside every time there was a movement on the street. I noticed that we have a lot of little bitty spiders, that on an average day, go completely unnoticed, as they crawl up and down the walls, and scurry across the window sill. Things that I would have never seen, had my husband not sent me to my beneficial sofa-jail.

Charlie's transition from little brother to big brother, hasn't been as smooth as we had hoped it would be.

Jealousy, confusion, anger.

After I came home from the hospital, Charlie wanted nothing to do with bedtime. As soon as we'd put him in his bed, he'd scream. It was so bad, the first night, come 3am, that I was sure something was wrong with him. "He has to have internal bleeding, if he doesn't stop soon we have to take him to the ER!!", I begged Christopher- who was completely matter of fact about the whole thing, "oh hes been screaming at the top of his lungs for an hour, so what".

When we finally went to soothe him (because I just couldn't take it anymore), he snubbed us! He turned his face away from Mommy and Daddy, waved his hands up in the air for us to leave him alone, but when we did what he asked and backed away- he screamed for us to come closer.

Oh. I see.

Hes angry with us

Charlie simply didn't want to be left alone. And not only did we put him into his isolated crib by himself, but we had shut the door, walked away, and then completely ignored his pleas for attention.

It was a long night, that one.

So the next day, in an attempt to make Charlie more excited about bed time, rather than feeling abandoned- we bought in (from the garage) his big boy bed.

We had been saving his toddler bed for his birthday, 4 months from now, but... you do what you gotta do, ya know?

Bad idea.

Charlie hated his toddler bed. Now not only did he feel completely alone in his bedroom, while Mom and Dad were snuggling and loving a new baby sister in their room, off and on, allllll night long, but- he didn't have the comfort of his crib.

We should have known better. Parenting fail.

...so we removed the toddler bed, and the next night, put him back into his crib, and all was well.
Or, as well as it can be, when your world has been shaken up and taken over by all things teeny tiny and pink.

Sometime Sunday morning, Christopher captured this moment, while I was washing my face and brushing my teeth (my "me" time).

Eleanore holding her little sister, Evelyn.

Don't let Evelyn's look of complete panic fool you into thinking that shes unhappy (we all know shes not). She always look like that, being so brand new and all.

Hey, random question...
Have you ever seen our living room?

This morning, while no longer on complete bed rest (y'all would not believe what a couple days on your butt will do for a sore spot on the belly!), I decided to let the kids watch cartoons again.

I'm not going to lie. My corner on the couch has gotten pretty comfortable. And now that I'm not hurting every time I move, I'm not as opposed to sitting here (yes, I'm there right now) for hours on end.

Christopher goes back to work next week though, and I'm sure by then, the couch will go back to being just a plain ol' couch again. No longer my own personal recovery room.

But until then, hee hee.

Eleanore, all warm and snuggly with her Hello Kitty blanket, forced to watch Curious George from the floor, since our couch isn't big enough for the 5 of us (she doesn't look too miserable though, does she?).

The boys, and the angry pets-deprived cat, having a total stare-off.

Who do you think won?

And Evelyn, laying quietly in ...wait- wheres Miss Evelyn at?

Oh. Good. She is in there!

I failed to document the rest of our days adventures (having left the camera by my nest on the couch), but be assured that we did many exciting things today. Having baby's blood drawn, trying to get the broken dryer to work, not getting stung by the swarming bees at the base hospital ...all very exciting things that I'm sure you wished I would have taken pictures of. Maybe I'll do a better job next week?

I'm linking up with Mommy Elephant's Manic Monday post, today.
Manic Monday Button

Flashback Friday- Christopher And His Siblings

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Its been one heck of a week. Anybody else feel the same? Is it really Friday already? Yes. It is. And now that I think about it, I guess it does feel like Friday, it just, also feels like Sunday. And Monday. And maybe Wednesday? I seriously need a nap. Oh and a mocha, too!


Eleanore got a birthday card in the mail on Tuesday, from her Great Aunt Marlaina. Inside that card, was a vintage picture of Christopher with all four of his siblings.

Oh. So cute.

So I thought and then quickly said out loud "honey you should do this weeks flashback", not giving him the option to say no. He was more than happy to do it though, as he always is when I ask him to take the reins, so, I shant make you wait any longer (yeah, you read that right, I just used the word shant, which might not even be a word at all- now go back and re read with a medieval british accent... its been a long day)...

The back of this picture says "April 1987". That means I'm just under three years old (that's me on the top right). And unlike Tia (because this is Christopher writing now) I can't remember every single moment of my life back to conception, so I have no memory of when/where this picture was taken, at all.

My earliest memories are a few hazy shreds from preschool... something about riding bikes down slides, nap time in the gym with mats, the school name painted on the wall ("Der Kinder Garden"). My little brother Josh would have been about 18 months then... right around Charlie's current age. Now he lives in Portland and plays in a band. My sister Jessie (on the lower left) would have been around 7 and Steph would have been about 9. This is funny because in my memories Jessie is always bigger than Steph... she had a growth spurt about 13 and ended up towering over almost everyone. Jessie now has 2 wonderful sons, Mikey and Joey. And Steph is a big-shot charge nurse at a hospital in Oregon and just got married last year. When I think of my brothers and sisters growing up, I never thought we would end up where we are today. It reminds me of something my brother said, when he came by to visit a few years ago...

"We all have to forge our own path".

Flashback with us! Go through your polaroids, scrapbooks, old crappy cell phone pictures- whatever you've got. Scan them, upload them, get them onto the computer somehow, and then share them with the world! Or... with us at least. Post them onto your blogs, write a little bit to go with them- tell us your story. When you're all finished, grab one of our buttons from down below (wayyyy down there at the bottom of our page) and put it somewhere inside your post (or link back to us the old fashioned text way). Come back here to this post, and add your link to the photo list below.

Happy 4th Birthday, Eleanore Sue!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

I don't remember my 4th birthday. My husband doesn't remember his. Do you remember yours? ...well, even though its not something I can look back on and think about, and I knew that Eleanore probably wouldn't remember hers when she gets older, I still wanted her to feel like the world was all hers, yesterday. I wanted her to feel like she was the most important little girl in the universe.

(Her, I'm-not-quite-awake-yet-but-totally-ready-to-party-like-I'm-four-years-old, face)

I woke up early to come downstairs and make her pancakes, so they'd be ready when she came away from her dreams. Rather than her normal goodmorning cup of soy milk that usually awaits her on the table, she had chocolate soy milk, that her Daddy had mixed up in the magic bullet. Instead of putting on a plain tank top and random mis-matching skirt, she put on a carefully selected new princess-kitty shirt, and fancy tutu (no matter that its the same one she wore last year).

After breakfast, it was time to open up presents. Presents from us, presents from her pen pal, from her Grammy, from her Nana- presents, presents, presents! Spoiled little girl, heeee.

She was really excited about the handmade card from her friend Sophia.

Months ago, I had set out on a journey to find her a complete set of Hundred Acre Wood friends. It wasn't until about two weeks ago, that Christopher and I finally got around to wrapping them (they were on my do-before-baby-comes list).

Eeyore, Owl, Kanga, Roo, Rabbit, Christopher Robin, Gopher, and of course Piglet... all wrapped up in brightly colored tissue papers, placed two at a time into cardboard boxes, and then wrapped again in red polka dot paper, blue paper, or plain brown paper accented with crayola markers.

The happiest little girl, ever.

Hundred Acre Wood friends, success!

A cute card to hang on her play room (previously known as the dining room) wall, and a new workbook for I'm-not-going-to-pre school-after-all learning. Both things that she went crazy for.

Do you remember how above-everything-else amazing, pop up books used to be?

Because they still are.

A handmade purse from Random Pretties.

This will be part of her outfit when we go on her big girl Mommy/Daughter shopping spree.

And these were just a few of the gifts that she got. A handmade dress and pillowcase from Grammy, books and books and books, a fun silicone baking pan with fun bug shapes (we'll make brownies and show you!), a handmade locket all the way from Washington state, a complete Hello Kitty bed set (Nana went all out), and did I mention books? Nothing makes our cute little nerd happier than books.

In between taking her baby sister downtown for her first well baby checkup (up to 6 pounds now, heart murmur sounding much better, things are looking up!), and watching Piglet's big movie- we still seemed to find some time to bake and eat that special banana cake that she wanted so badly...

This was the first time that Eleanore has had an actual cake. The past 3 years, we've done cupcakes. But this year, when I asked her what she wanted, she very specifically said- "CAKE".

And this is the first year we've done candles, too. I don't know where my mind has been before, but, whats a birthday cake without candles?

The cake turned out awful, by the way. Eleanore loved it, and thats all that matters, but I wouldn't be surprised if tomorrow afternoon it finds its way into the garbage...

Start the countdown?


Its moments like this, that erase every memory of mom-guilt, and clear the airwaves, allowing me to take a deep enough breath to prepare for the hysteria of happiness that is soon to follow.

We ate cake.

None of us were able to finish an entire piece, though. Charlie and I hate frosting, but I don't know what excuse the other two had (other than the awful gluten free gummy texture, haha).

We finished the night with an outside romp with the hose, and then a very special birthday girl bubble bath.

It was perfect.

Happy 4th birthday, Miss Eleanore Sue.
We love you.

A little bit of a postpartum rant...

Monday, August 16, 2010

Things are different. The way my brain works, the way my body goes through whats left of my old routine- even the way that I flip my pancakes. Everything, in every way possible (when it comes to motherhood, at least), is different.

Evelyn is one week old.

Today all 5 of us loaded up into the van, which takes plenty of planning ahead (get the AC started, grab sippys for toddlers, diapers for the un potty trained, water for the adults, snacks for everyone, you know the drill...), and drove down the freeway for a doctors appointment. Getting the kids inside the building, up the elevator, and into the office proved to be a challenge- and after we had done it, I tried to imagine how I would ever do it all on my own.

When the doctor delivered Evelyn, he cut out quite a big area of scar tissue, resulting in the mother load of surgical staples. For the past couple of days, those surgical staples, have turned into little torches- burning me every single time I move. Yesterday I literally pulled up my magnifying mirror, grabbed a pair of tweezers, and contemplated pulling the damn things out myself. ...I didn't, of course, I let the doctor do it today (half of them were infected, and I cried like a baby when he pulled the worst ones out)- but thats just an example of the turn that my sanity has taken.

Tomorrow is my oldest daughters 4th birthday. I have mom guilt, for not doing a better job of planning a celebration for her. I wrapped all of her presents while I was still pregnant, I (sort of) put together a party, which I've since cancelled and then (sort of) put back together. I never did decide what kind of cake/cupcakes to make. Y'all know I like to overdo things. And this time, since everything has been focused on the baby, I really wanted to make Miss Eleanore feel special.

Rather than renting out a private party at the Jump Around, a local bounce house place over by where we buy our health food, we're just paying the individual fees for her and some friends to go. Two of the girls that were going to attend came down with mono, we really can't afford over $100 anyways, and having a party on a Sunday is just weird, right? The problem with not booking a "party" is, now we can't bring cupcakes into the place, and we risk the chance of our kids getting trampled by older bigger kids. What kind of a birthday party doesn't have cupcakes? So much for overdoing it.

I asked Elie what kind of a cake she wants. She said banana. And of course, we don't have any ripe spotted bananas on hand. They're almost impossible to find at the store (the commissary's bananas are neon green), we usually buy them a week in advance. I offered other flavors, trying to make them all sound just as exciting, but no- she has her heart set on banana cake. Of course I'll do whatever I can tomorrow, to find ripe bananas for her, even if it means knocking on every door of every house in my neighborhood and begging total strangers to help me save my daughters special day.

Oh, and half of her birthday presents, were school related. A new backpack, new lunch supplies ...since she was supposed to start pre school next week. Supposed to. Well wouldn't you know, the other day we got a letter in the mail saying that the headstart program was all filled up, and she'd be put on the waiting list. And we're low, on the waiting list. Wayyy down at the bottom, where chances of her getting accepted are non existent. Crap. Now I have to swap out those gifts, and I don't have any others to replace them with. She'll never know the difference of course, having a few less gifts, but- I will.

And how do I tell her that she can't go to school? Thank goodness she has no concept of time, and I can take as long as I want to come up with the perfect "but I need you as my very special big sister helper here at home" story.

My netbook has a webcam!

Tonight around 6:00, Christopher took the kids to Sam's Club to do some we-can't-go-another-day-without-these-things shopping, and Evelyn and I headed upstairs, and we (drool on the pillow) crashed.

I haven't taken a nap since I got discharged from the hospital. Can you believe that? Major abdominal surgery, nursing a newborn around the clock- and... I'm about to crack.

Sometimes I wonder if its maybe a little bit of postpartum depression trying to sneak its way into my day to day (I seriously cry at everything), or ...do I just need more sleep? Both? God I'm so tired.

After our nap, Evelyn was wide awake. Its rare that her eyes (will they be green, maybe?) are open, so when they are, I take full advantage of it. I nursed her, and then layed out a blanket and let her kick. We took her out of her preemie sleeper, and put her into a larger newborn size, so she could fully stretch out those long legs of hers. In that moment, things seemed alright. The bed was made, the other babies were in bed, the house was quiet. Its all going to be alright, I thought. And then...

My husband brought up an entire platter of comfort food for himself (homemade chicken nuggets, tater tots, freshly mixed dipping sauce), and handed me a bag of corn chips, for dinner. *Commence breakdown*

Finding my balance, folks. Finding... my... balance...

The View From Here

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Tonight after Christopher had put Charlie and Eleanore down for bed, we traded in the comfortable couch and air conditioning, for a little bit of muggy fresh air.

Miss Evelyn, having left the hospital at less than 6 pounds, has been having troubles maintaining both her body temperature, and her blood sugar levels. All it takes is one missed feeding, or just 5 minutes outside of a swaddle- and we're in for it. This little girl is high maintenance, thats for sure.

So while I've spent most of the last 6 days, constantly feeding my has-to-stay-bundled-up newborn, who doesn't want to wake up for anything, going outside was a much needed change of scenery.

And the best part about going outside, wasn't the swarming gnats or the smell of fresh cut allergies grass, but I got to talk to and play with my alert daughter, who because of the 100 degree temperatures, didn't need to be wrapped up in her own personal fabric tortilla shell.

The view from my lap looked something like this...

A little bit confused as to where we were and what we were doing. Sucking on her pretty purple preemie binky. Wearing one of the very few items of clothing that currently fit her.

Trying her very hardest not to fall asleep. There are birds to listen to, and a warm breeze to feel-

Wrinkly little fingers, reaching for anything and everything. So much to touch and feel.

Must. Stay. Awake.

Better luck next time, baby.

Don't worry, you've got all of the time in the world, for exploring. For now, just close those pretty eyelids and dream of all of the fun things that we did today.

And while you're doing that, making the cute little snort sounds in between breaths, I'm going to tickle your toes.

We went through 10 pairs of socks today, before we found one that would say on your barbie sized toes, just so you know.

When I'm done tickling your adorable smaller than small toes, I'm going to hold your entire hand with my one finger.

God, you're adorable.

What? Is that a smile I see?

You must be dreaming about the chocolate chip cookies that Daddy and I made on our date today.

Hey, I have an idea!

Why don't we take that hat off?

Where in the world did all of that beautiful red hair come from??

Now that we've shown off your strawberry strands... its time to put that hat back on and head back inside for another feeding.