Christmas, get here.

I am so, dang, sick of this heat. I will never be a Texan, no matter how long I'm stuck in this awful place. Sand, cactus, scorpions, and spiders the size of my fist. Its all a little over the top, don't you think? It was 105 yesterday. As in, degrees. 105 horrible hot skin burning degrees. And there is something about the Texas sun, that is very similar to a world dominating laser beam. It'll burn holes right through your skin, until you look like a piece of swiss cheese. That's not a joke, that's for real. And whats with this new breed of giant turbo charged Earwigs, that comes out of nowhere, with an ice pick sticking out of its ass? If its not one thing its another. I'm counting down the days until Winter. Until then, I'm staying inside with the AC cranked up, wearing scarves and sweat pants, pretending its mid November.

-"Christmas Muppets", by Vintageracer, $10.00. (Remember these?!)