The Drive In Theater

I have very clear memories from when I was a kid, maybe 3 or 4, of sitting in the back of my parents little brown Hyundai, surrounded by blankets and stuffed animals, dipping my McDonalds chicken nuggets into little plastic squares of bbq sauce, playing with fraggle rock happy meal treasures, and then falling asleep to the sound of whatever movie was playing on the screen behind me.

One time there was a horror movie playing on one of the other screens, and I'm pretty sure I wasn't supposed to be watching it, but- because I was facing backwards (they layed the seats down), and not watching whatever it was that my parents were watching, the only thing to look at was Freddy chasing some girl through the fog, and- yeah I had nightmares forever.

But then we moved away from California, and sadly there were no drive in movie theaters when we got to our new home in Washington. Wait, no- there was one, but it closed down shortly after we moved there. Sad stuff, right? But hey, at least I still had those memories of my happy meal days, hanging out in the back of my parents car.

Can you guess what we did this weekend?!



Abilene has a drive in! We've known about it for years, but the thought of taking the whole family always seemed so overwhelming. Especially when we had our old car, because- that thing was a sardine can. And then we finally got a van (and thank God for that). And then we crashed the van. And then we got another van! But then- theres never really anything that we want to see, playing at the drive in. And if there is, its usually the 2nd of two features, and we don't want to sit through the crappy first one to get to the good second one, so... yeah we just never went.

Then I found out they were playing Cars 2 (the kids will freak), and Pirates 4 (we'll freak), and... what are we waiting for?! Load em up, lets go lets go lets go!



The best part was, that we didn't tell the kids where we were going, until we were waiting in line for our tickets. We told them all day long, that we were going to do something super duper fun, but kept our mouths shut as to what it was.

And that was partially because Christopher was on call for work, and we weren't entirely sure that it would happen. In case he would have had to go in, our super duper fun place, would have been the boring ol' park.

But we finally got to go! And we were there! And it was awesome!




Evelyn loves being outside, so she was perfectly happy sitting in Daddy's lap (in the beginning). Towards the end, all she wanted to do was nurse. And even though she was exhausted, having skipped her afternoon nap, we were in an unfamiliar place, and all she wanted to do was look around and take it all in. Even long after the sun had gone down, and the only thing giving us light was the movie screen and the stars.

I saw a shooting star, I saw a shooting star! Its been years.




The kids chased each other around in the open space in front of our car. Did I forget to mention that this was their first time going to see any move, ever? They were extremely excited, but also- exhausted. The movie didn't start until right around their bedtime, so by the time the previews started playing, both kids were flopping around and begging for beds and binkys.

Some friends of ours had met up with us there, and parked in the big empty space that the kids were previously running in (watching them get in to that parking spot was probably more fun than the movie itself), so we went and sat with them. Elie sat in the back of their SUV, Charlie sat in Christopher's lap, and Evelyn sat in mine (we were in chairs). Occasionally I'd have to get up and walk the baby around, when she started getting loud, but for the most part everyone was happy where they were.

Eleanore fell out of the car. Yep, just... fell out. I felt something hit the back of my head, turned around and didn't see anything, and then a minute later I heard her moan from the ground. There she was, knees all scraped up, just lying in the gravel. Get up, you're missing the movie, clumsy!



Mater was there!



Oh, yep. And me too.

...By the time Cars was over though, we had had enough. We packed up the kids (losing a cell phone and a Lightning along the way ...but we found them), and headed out. There was drama with seatbelts, and tantrums over pineapple, but- the parents took one for the team, we sacrificed watching Pirates for the sake of the babies getting into their comfy cozy beds (and shutting the heck up, haha), and we went home.


So there. We can check "go to the drive in" off of our things-to-do-before-we-leave-Abilene list.

43.go to the drive in.
See? Done.

Next time we go, we'll just need to make sure and bring the kids entire bedsets. It was too fun not to go again.

The New Flashback Friday Host...

So if you missed last weeks flashback, then you might want to go read it? But to save you the trouble and make a long story short- I've tossed in the flashbacking towel.

Note: I've quit flashbacks, not blogging.

Don't worry though, I've found somebody really awesome to take over. And to help y'all ease from fridays at my blog, to hers, shes put together a little vlog for ya...

Aww, Lauren. I'm so glad that you accepted my offer to take over as host. You're perfect for the job. The flashback queen. ...And how cute of you to make a video for everyone! You're adorable.

Alright friends, I've got floors to steam mop and tv shows on Netflix to watch. Grab your links and wander over and visit the new host of Flashback Friday (that was a link, in case you missed it). I'll miss you!

So don't be strangers?

Evelyn June, 10 Months Old

I've been trying to write this post for days, going on weeks now. Evelyn I just have such a hard time letting go of your maybe not being so much of a baby anymore. When did it happen? Where have I been?

I wanted to have all of your pictures set up just perfectly, edited to be brighter and bring out the sparkle in your eyes, but- every time I try to gather them all in one place, something gets in the way, and now I realize I can't put this off any longer.

Between 9 and 10 months, you've practically grown up. You've gone from being the quiet observing little sister, to being the sassy red head in charge. You're going to give your sister a run for her money, aren't you?


You crawl now! Well, if you can call it that. Its more of a wiggle/scoot, but- you get around to where you're trying to go. You can get from one end of the house to the other in the same amount of time that it takes for me to pour a glass of water. And you have no problems testing and proving that over and over again.



You're a garbage mouth, you dirty little thing! Anything and everything, straight into your mouth. You've been that way since you were born, wanting to explore plastics and papers with your gums, as most babies do, but you're taking it to another level, Missy. You know what I pulled out of your mouth the other day? A stake sharp enough to kill a vampire. You had somehow gotten part of the wicker shoe basket by the front door (which has since been moved, ya little stinker), and who knows how long you had been stowing it away in your chipmunk cheeks. You even successfully nursed on one breast, without my feeling a thing. It wasn't until I switched sides, that I noticed something poking out from between your lips. I reached in, and pulled out a sharp-sharp-sharp little thing, that would have surely had you in a helicopter on your way to having an emergency surgery somewhere, and- Evelyn could ya just stop? Pieces of mulch, entire pages of books, potato skins, bobby pins that I'm pretty sure you must have gone to the grocery store and bought yourself- just stop already! I love you but you're making me crazy.


You have a voice. A beautiful, chatty, sometimes screamy and aggravated, voice. You shout, you laugh, and "Mamamamamamamamama" is repeated at least 100 billion times a day, but almost never directed at me.


You've got claws. Part of you being who you are, is that you won't let me near you with a pair of fingernail clippers. You won't let your hands be held still. You can't stand being restrained, you'll fight it with the strength of Sasquatch (which you obviously get from your Daddy). No spoons anywhere near your face, you'll put your binky in your mouth on your own terms thank-you-very-much, and God be with us if we try to take something away from you. ...You take those untrimmed and almost always jagged fingernails, and you get us. You usually go for the lips on me, and the throat on Daddy (probably because hes taller). You're a wild animal, Miss thang. The boys better watch out for you. They'll never know what hit 'em.



You eat now! ...sort of. I tricked you into eating a whole big piece of banana the other day, by putting it into one of those mesh teether things. You love to chew on fabric, so you dug in. Hah hah, baby, Mommy wins! But no really, you've been making progress with your solids. You have to finger feed it to yourself of course, nothing pureed and nothing in a bowl. We steam a veggie or chop up fruit, and place it on your tray, and let you feed yourself. Sweet potatoes seem to be your favorite. Avocado ...you're unsure of. Banana- if I catch you on a good day. You're still very much dependant on the breast, and while I love you and I love our special bond- its time to eat a dang carrot!


You don't cry at other people as much as you had been doing. You used to break into tears at the sight of anyone other than Mommy or Daddy. Or sometimes even Daddy. I think you're more interested in exploring the world, than you maybe previously were. Good for you, little one. A pat on the back (and followed by a burp) for you.


You've started fighting your naps. Sleeping, and especially sleeping with your mouth on a nipple other than Mom's, and in a bed not shaped like my cradling arms, is all too awful for you. You cry and cry and cry and cry. Besides, theres way too much to stay up and do. Sleeping is for babies! Which you're clearly not.



But you just look so dang cute while you're doing it. Even if you are covered in sweat and sticky bananas and dirt. Plus, its easier for me to take pictures of you when you're not trying to swat at my lens.

Slow down, these next couple of months, okay? No walking, no talking. Just... be a baby for a few more days.

Fathers Day 2011

Its hard to pick just one picture, to accurately describe how great our Fathers Day was.

I decided to go with this one, because ...between the almost-5-year-old putting on the most ridiculous before bedtime underwear fashion show ever, the 2 year old turning his bedding into his own personal parachute and playing peek a boo with his best friend toy cars- this is one of the last pictures that I took. This is the one that slowed my heartbeat, erased my headache, and reminded me to whisper a quick thank you to God, for blessing our family in all of the ways that he has.

Now honey- go get your 5th bowl of your guacamole potato broccoli thing. Endless avocado.

Flashback Friday: The Final Flashback

Edit: I'm going to put this way up here at the top of the page, since I've gotten multiple emails on the subject. No, I'm not quitting blogging. Just flashbacks :) Alright then, on we go...

Over the past few months I've had an ongoing battle with myself, about whats best for me and family. I've been trying to eliminate the things that stress me out. One by one, various things have been dismissed. Things both online, and off. Its like I walk around holding an invisible computer mouse, and if I come across something that I realize has been causing more stress than its worth, I click on it, and drag it to the recycling bin. It really is that simple.

As much as I hate to admit it, one of the things that causes my stomach to tighten and my breath to hold itself in frustration, is this blog. Because I just don't have time for it. And its not just "the blog", because anyone who has one knows that its a whole hard-to-wrap package that you have to deal with, its being online in general. I wrote before, about wanting to get back to a simpler kind of life, and somehow I drifted away from that. I always drift away from my goals. Why? Because I get distracted. Its hard not to, when distractions are endlessly swirling around you, and so much easier to reach and out and lean on, rather than using your own tired balance and standing your ground.

So come Monday night, when normally I'd sit down to blog- I just, didn't.

And then on Tuesday night, when normally if I had missed Monday, I'd really rush to get a post finished- I just, didn't.

And then on Wednesday night, when all of the chores were done, and the kids were tucked in, I thought "hmm, I've got an extra few minutes, maybe I'll blog tonight". ...and it was pleasant. I took more time finding my words, I wrote in deeper detail about the experience- it was what I've been missing.

And so came the decision- to give up Flashback Friday.

I've been doing this here weekly get together for years now. Boy that felt weird to write. I had lost my passion for it some time ago, but kept on keepin' on, because I knew that so many other people liked to play along, and I liked reading their memories. Your memories.

Some of you have been doing this for just as long as I have, every week, for years.
Lauren has been a total Flashback rockstar. If there was an award to give, she'd be the ultimate winner. I feel like I grew up with her, because of how many of her memories I've been invited to read. Lauren, seriously- you're the Flashback queen. So while I've got your attention, Miss Lauren, are you at all interested in taking over the weekly duty of being host? Okay so maybe I should have shot you an email ahead of time, but- it just dawned on me as I was writing this, that maybe your passion for my Flashback baby is as strong as mine? If not, and please don't feel obligated to say yes, then I'd like to extend the offer to anyone else thats up for the job.

Flashback Fridays is like my flour baby. Remember, carrying around a sack of flour and pretending that its your baby? Okay, I never actually did that, I think I read about it in a book when I was a kid, but- you get the point. I want to pass this along to somebody whos not only going to post the pictures, but also write out the memories to go along with it. Someone who can keep up with it every week- writing it as though they're re living it, setting it up on time, reading the posts of others. All of it. If Miss Lauren happens to say no, then I'll still need a Godmother for my Flashback flour baby. If you think you might be interested in being a new Mama to a meme cookie (get it, flour, cookie... I'm running outta creative juice here), then please send me an email.

So this is it folks. My Final Flashback. Hold on, we're turning this into a musical...



...yep, thats how it is in this house. Every day. All day long.
Ignore my post workout attire. I got my sweaty early morning sunshine walk on earlier.

I asked Christopher what he thought I should write about as my grand finale, and he said I should just flashback to previous flashbacks. "Well that dumb", I said as my response. But ummm... yeah here I am, a couple days later, without a big bang to go out with, using my husbands dumb idea.

I've done 91 flashbacks. ...yeah. That many.

Well there was this one, where you can clearly see that Christopher and I were made for each other. This is a great post, with a beautiful black and white mirror shot of Eleanore as a baby. Our first Thanksgiving- that one just had me say "I love you honey", to Christopher, after reading it. Me as a little league ladybug, you gotta love that. This old one of me in Portland. I barely recognize that girl. Oh! And who can forget Pittin' Out With Travis Barker? Because I remember being so mortified when I posted that. Might as well re live the embarrassment one more time, right? And because its Fathers Day this next weekend, a couple of Flashbacks about my Dad. This one. And this one. And then the one that started it all, my very first flashback.

Thanks everyone, whos stopped by to read them, link up and play along, or ever sent me a comment in an email about a particular post- its been fun. I hope that my Friday only readers will stick around to read about our present day adventures, but if not, thats okay too. Next Friday I'll post the link to the new hosts blog, if somebody steps up to the plate.

And now I'll post the rules, for the last time *sniffle* (because its bittersweet)-

***************************
So heres what we do. Every week we dig through our memories- old cell phone pictures, polaroids from 1986, something that you pulled out of a dirty shoe box- and we flashback to it. We show it off, and we write about it. We take ourselves back to that place, with as little or as much detail as our hearts are willing to share. Scan it, upload it, copy and paste it from your livejournal (remember those?)- display your memories in whatever way works for you. And then grab out button way down at the bottom of the page there (or link back old fashioned text style), add it to your flashback, add your link to our flashback, and if you've got an extra minute- maybe browse around and read some of the flashbacks left by others. Its just for fun. And really- memories are too precious to be left in an old dirty shoe box.



This is a comment-free blog.

Raw Vegan Sushi Night

Its been awhile since I've sat down with my computer on my lap like this. It seems to be a lot more relaxing when it doesn't happen quite as often.

Something that takes up a lot of time in our lives right now, is food. I mean, obviously food is something thats a huge part of everyones lives, no matter who you are, or what you're doing, but- as we transition into this new lifestyle (raw vegan eating), we're learning. Learning about our bodies, learning about the foods that we eat, learning about our will power and sometimes lack thereof.

To make things a little bit more fun, and to help us feel a little more "normal", we like to have a high fat night. Usually we eat low fat raw vegan foods, but because the babies need more fat than the Mama's and Papa's, and because sometimes we're just bored with the simple things that have been placed upon our palates throughout the week, we just need to shake it up.

So on Saturdays or Sundays, a night when Christopher is home to help wrangle up the kids and keep them from latching onto my legs and trying to climb me like a tree, I like to make a big luscious meal to fill our bellies up with a hearty dose of uncooked lovin'.

Something that we've had twice now, but probably won't have again for another decade or more, is sushi.



That right there, is a teeny tiny mini little sushi roll, the perfect size for a hungry little 2 year old mouth. Kinda cute, right?

More like, a pain in the ass.

I'm no expert on sushi rolling, I've made it maybe 4 times in my life. I don't have sharp knives, I don't have one of those novelty sushi mats (although I totally want one), I have no idea what I'm doing. But- I do know that normal rolls are too big for my kids mouths, and cutting them in half is messier than its worth.



So I cut the nori (seaweed papers) sheets in half, and tried my best to make something that would be considered edible.

Success!

Although, Charlie didn't quite understand my efforts, and started taking the rolls apart- which I quickly put a stop to, then handing them to his sister and making him a "sushi bowl" instead.

Seriously kid, if you had any idea how hard I worked on those bite sized pieces of perfection-



His digging into it faster than I could spoon it into his bowl was thanks enough. I could see that he loved it, which made all of the chopping and grating and blending more than worth it.

Besides, I did this for fun. Not because I had to. Not because anybody was requesting it. But just because I wanted to feel like a normal lady, "cooking" something fancy in her kitchen. It was relaxing, even.



Well, it was relaxing until the very end of my adventure at least, when Miss Picky Pants Eleanore refused to eat any sushi bite that wasn't perfectly rolled, swearing that the messy ones tasted worse than the pretty ones. Ummm...

Ok, sweet dreams and goodnight to you then! More for me!



It was, so good. A nice thick layer of our "seafood pate" (almonds, scallions, lemon juice, dulce, seaweed, and carrots), topped with cauliflower "rice" (steamed just so), grated zuchinii, and grated carrot. All dipped into a shallow bowl of sweet coconut aminos- ah, heaven!

A more perfect sushi roll has never existed.

Okay maybe one with sprouts and avocado, but- we aim for proper food combining, and avocado and nuts together bring bad tummy juju. And sprouts from the store hold too big a risk of harboring yucky bacteria (yes, I'm one of those paranoid freaks).

If you feel like you need to slave away in the kitchen for 3 hours on a Saturday night making the ultimate fake seafood and veggie feast for your family or friends- you might want to try this recipe (thats where we got our pate recipe).

But hey, maybe make sure your kid understands the concept of "bites" though, before bending over backwards to make them their toddler friendly and super cool mini rolls?

And it sure was nice to sit down with my family at the table, to eat an overflowing plate of my ocean scented hard work.

Flashback Friday: Goodbye To Baking

So its official then. Yesterday we sold all of our gluten free baking supplies. The flours, the pastas, the mixes, the binders- all of it, gone. I'm going to strip all of the recipes from my cabinets, pull the notepads out of my drawers, and throw them all into a box out in the garage with the rest of our "don't need this stuff anymore" stuff.

This was a bold move for me. Its been months since we cut the grains and baked goods out of our day to day, and instantly I knew it felt right. Right away we felt better. Our digestive issues slowly started to resolve, and within a week or two, the healing process of mine and my sons stomachs had picked up speed, and we were (dare I say) cured.

I went through all of the cabinets and fished out all of our gluten free flours- the sorghum, the buckwheat, the brown rice, the white rice, the cornmeal, the cornstarch, the white corn, the course corn, the tapioca, the arrowroot, the millet, the xanthan gum, the baking powder- and I piled them up on the counter, telling myself that soon I'd go through the kitchen and pantry, grab the rest of the stuff, and I'd sell it.

How crazy is this?! What am I doing? We've been gluten free 5 years. Its taken me half a decade to get to this point of knowing what all of this stuff is, how it works, and how to make it work well. Am I really going to put all of that behind me and just walk away from it?

So another month passed. And then one day when I was needing more counter space for some hand washed dishes to dry on, I got sick of looking at the pile of instant pudding and oatmeal that I knew I'd never ever use again, no matter what, and I collected it all, and moved it to the dining room table.

It was time.

I went through and wrote down the prices of everything. I added up the cost of the things from the kitchen freezer, the deep freezer, the shelves in the laundry room (our back up stuff). I came up with a price, and put it up for sale. I got an email that night.

Yesterday Christopher took it down for me (because hes lost the keys to his scooter, which is about to get sold as well, because its always something with that dang thing), and made the exchange.

We're really doing this. We're really a raw vegan family.
We're coming out of the pantry. And It feels good.

So today I'm going to flashback upon some of my old gluten free favorites. Some recipes that I either posted or at least wrote about here on the blog. Soon my "gluten free recipes" section is going to be replaced with a "raw vegan" tab. They won't completely disappear, I'll keep a link to them somewhere in there, but- we're done with baking folks. This is it for us. Un-baking is the new baking, hah.

Expect ridiculously healthy things in our future.

Say yes to life.
(Yep, I said it.)

The very best sandwich bread of all time ever.


The cobbler that made this mess.


Thin mint style cookies.


Broccoli Baked Potato Soup.


Jumbo chocolate chip banana muffins.


6 layer chocolate peanut butter birthday cake.


Tia's allergic to everything lasagna.


My very favorite banana bread. (I never got around to posting my recipe- but email me if you want it?)

I'm not going to lie- I miss it. Sometimes I get a really strong craving for something that I know I can't have, just because I smell it and I haven't had enough calories yet that day (which is one of the hardest parts- eating enough). We cheat, from time to time, and steam things a little bit longer than they need to be steamed, or indulge in a high fat night, with a meal heavy in different kinds of nuts, prepared gourmet style (like sushi night).

We're still new to this. Its going to take awhile for this to become our new normal. We're getting there.

So. Goodbye muffin tins and timers. Goodbye gluten free baking. Hello cutting boards and spiral slicers. Hello life.





***************************
So heres what we do. Every week we dig through our memories- old cell phone pictures, polaroids from 1986, something that you pulled out of a dirty shoe box- and we flashback to it. We show it off, and we write about it. We take ourselves back to that place, with as little or as much detail as our hearts are willing to share. Scan it, upload it, copy and paste it from your livejournal (remember those?)- display your memories in whatever way works for you. And then grab out button way down at the bottom of the page there (or link back old fashioned text style), add it to your flashback, add your link to our flashback, and if you've got an extra minute- maybe browse around and read some of the flashbacks left by others. Its just for fun. And really- memories are too precious to be left in an old dirty shoe box.









This is a comment-free blog.

Our Day In Food

Recently I've been asked quite a few times, by friends, family, and a random reader or two, how our change in diet has been going. So I thought it would be nice, to switch gears from Friday's rather embarrassing semi public emotional outburst, and document a day in the life of our plates.

We've been a low fat raw vegan family since late April. It hasn't been easy. The transition was anything but, and at times we didn't think we'd be able to do it. But here we are, all in better health than ever, feasting upon the delicious food that nature intended for us to eat- even on the days when all we can think about is a Burgerville Tilamook Cheeseburger, even though we haven't had one in 6 years.

During the daytime we eat mostly fruit, with a leafy green vegetable or carrot thrown in the mix, and at night we delight in our savory dishes. Some days we'll go all day without eating anything other than fruits and greens, and other nights, just to spice things up, we go all out and make a gourmet cuisine like raw vegan sushi. Of course, on nights like those, I make sure that Christopher is home to help watch the kids while I blend up buckets of fake fish pate and roll it between the stacks of sprouts and seaweed, because- as you can imagine, it takes a lot of food to fill this family up.

So anyways. Now onto our day in [unedited and probably blurry] food photographs...



The kids started off the day with simple fruit plates. Bananas, mangoes, and pears.

Charlie thought it would be fun to poke apart his banana with his tinkerbell fork, before picking it up and eating it dog-chewing-a-bone style. He didn't finish his mango, or his pears, but instead had a meltdown about not wanting to (because the mango wasn't very juicy, and who knows what his problem was with the pears), so he chose to go hungry for the next 2 hours.



Eleanore, for texture reasons, cannot stand smoothies. The very thought of drinking a smoothie, is enough to send this girl into a frenzy. So she always looks forward to her morning fruit plate. But of course, like her brother, (because what kind of siblings would they be if they didn't copy each other in all of the worst ways) she refused her mangoes and pears as well, and went hungry until snack time.



Christopher had 2 large jars full of some kind of pretty yellow smoothie. He doesn't build his breakfast so much for taste, as much as he does "what all can I shove into the blender and pour down my throat"? He has made a few really good ones though, so I have to give him credit for those.



Evelyn is never too impressed with breakfast time. If there aren't boobs involved, she really just couldn't care less. Eleanore and Kitty though- well they always put on a theatrical show.



I drank a quart of fresh squeezed orange juice. Its my favorite breakfast- about 8 oranges worth. A lot of mornings I jump on the smoothie train with Christopher, sometimes we even share a blend, but- that stomach bug that I had last week caused a flare up of whatever my stomach ailment is, and today I wanted to try to focus on just eating mono meals (one food at a time) in hopes of healing.

Healing isn't happening, by the way, so tomorrow I'm taking a trip to banana island, where I'll eat nothing but ripe bananas for a couple of days, total gorilla style, in order to give my tummy a break. ...Yeah- I know what you're thinking. But trust me? I've gone there before.




Snack time: banana ice cream! All this is, is bananas chopped, frozen, and then blended. It takes all of 60 seconds to make, and its the most delicious natural soft serve you've ever had in your life. I eat it daily.



While mine was just straight up bananas, I used the leftover pears and mangoes in the next batch for Charlie and Christopher. Charlie doesn't care whats in banana ice cream- that boy will eat bowl after bowl after bowl (as proved by his recent healthy weight gain, which has bumped him up an entire clothing size).

I made Christopher a gallon or more, and he took it down to the playmat to eat it while spending some time with the girls.



Check out miss baby ma'am there, eye ballin' Daddy's bowl. Don't let her fool you into thinking she cares about solids. All she'd do is dump it out and then happily slap the mess into the ground, keeping it as far away from her mouth as possible.



Eleanore had a heaping bowl (even though it was nearly empty by the time I could get to my camera) of seedless red grapes. Her very favorite.



For lunch we decided to do something with apples. We buy cases of organic galas from the commissary at cost (just like we do our bananas and navel oranges- only those ones aren't organic), so we had a good amount to use up. While I washed and ran the cutter over those- the rest of the family (and Kitty) played GI Joes.

The kids got to eat large bowls full, with a side of caramel (date) dipping sauce, and sprinkles (shredded coconut). Christopher and I ate ours plain, and by the dozen.

And of course my camera battery craps out during our afternoon snack of delicious "granola" (so there are no pictures), the very best snack ever, that the babies go absolutely crazy for. A mixture of raisins, dates, and coconut- all pulsed into a granola like consistency, and perfectly sweet and chewy in all of the right ways.



And then for dinner, because its Tuesday, we had tacos of course. Only, our tacos are probably a little bit different than yours, right?

Tomato, cilantro, basil, scallions, freshly chopped sweet corn, avocado (gotta get in our fat source), and romaine "taco shells".

And we ate, and we ate, and we ate.

Dinner was a struggle for Eleanore, who decided tomatoes weren't worth her time tonight, but the rest of us filled up and patted our happy bellies. We have to really pack it all in, in order to get enough calories. Charlie ate 3 bowls full (of just the filling)? Christopher ate a countless number of tacos., including half of mine (because like I said earlier, my stomach is no bueno). And Eleanore, who even though ended up having to go to bed early (which she really needed to anyways) for being disrespectful, made a pretty good effort in taking a couple of bites with those awful red chunky tangy things.

So that was our day in food. Thats what we ate today.

Tomorrow I'll be hanging out on banana island while the rest of the family chows down on celery and kale, banana/strawberry sundaes, blueberry pudding, and for dinner- steamed and herbed red potatoes.

Flashback Friday: Another End Of The Week Rant

I need a distraction, right now. Something to take my mind away from my own thoughts.

Its Thursday night while I write this. I just tucked the older two into bed, knowing that they were going to stay awake and play, disobeying every rule that I had given them before turning off their light and walking out the door. I came down to the couch, nursed the baby into her dreams, moved her from my lap to her bed, and even though the kids are indeed being rowdy, tossing around a Thomas toy and using blankets as fake parachutes- I just don't care to go yell at them right now.

Theres a stomach virus going around the house. Eleanore had it for a day, and then passed it along, like an unwanted gift, to me. I've had it for 2 days now, today being much better than yesterday, and I'm just ready for it to be over. I left the house today, going out to the store to take care of business, even though all I wanted to do was lay in bed all day, and when they didn't have what I wanted, I had to venture off base into town and go to a different store, just for something that ended up not being worth while anyways.

Christopher's uncle passed away. ...theres not much else I can say about it. Its hitting Christopher pretty hard in several ways- the thought of death, the thought of us leaving behind our kids, him not being able to be there for his family while they're hurting, the general idea of having lost of a family member- and so it in turn hits me pretty hard. I want to help Christopher feel better, he wants to help them feel better, we all hate that it happened, and so on and so forth. RIP Uncle Mike.

Its been in the high 90's every day. It was 113 a few days ago. One hundred and thirteen degrees. And now that I know for certain that heat and sunlight intensify my stroke like migraine symptoms, I really can't risk going outside. We had some friends come over last weekend, and our dang canopy snapped in half, so we all ended up sitting on blankets under the trampolene. Sure, it was fun in a summer camp pow wow kind of way, we didn't mind, but- I'm tired of being trapped inside. I feel like there are jail bars on my windows and padlocks on the outsides of the doors. Knowing that I shouldn't go outside, makes me want to do it that much more.

...I just went and yelled at the kids, twice, because they apparently don't think I'm serious? It had to be done.

I'm feeling very under pressure lately. Like I'm being pulled in so many different directions, like some kind of sticky to the touch stretch armstrong octopus toy? There isn't enough of me to go around. And I always come back to this same dilemma, and question myself what I can cut back on, or eliminate entirely. Today I revisited the idea of ending blogging. But I really do love it, when I write the way that my fingers naturally write. Its when I try to force something out of nothing- post something that sure, I'd like to remember, but, it maybe just isn't something worth sitting down and typing about? So I went back to a year ago in my archives. Last summer. And I found my answer. I won't quit just yet, even though I feel like its inching up on me, like when an ocean wave comes out of nowhere and erases the name that you worked so hard to spell in the sand with a prize piece of driftwood, and one day- maybe I'll just stop? Maybe it won't be so important to me anymore, to document our lives the way that I do? But anyways, my temporary solution, was to bring my writing back to where it was. Do things that are worth writing about, and really feel them. Be there in the moment, and then when the moment is over, bring it from in living color, to black and white type. The thing is, those kinds of things, they don't happen every day. They only happen when you let them happen. And to let them happen, you have to step away from all of the things that are pulling your armstrong octopus legs in all of those directions, stop caring, and let all of the tension builders snap and fall backwards as you retract. ...So I won't be writing as much.

The noise stopped upstairs. They must have fallen asleep. And it only took 45 minutes, and two trips up the stairs for discipline (I turned off the train toy and made him lay on a pillow by himself, because clearly he wasn't playing nicely).

Never mind. I just heard talking.

And another thing- I really want to take more pictures. I want to make photography more than it currently is. Not just pictures of my kids, because I hate to admit that I'm sort of getting past that, but- just pictures. Pictures of things that I like, because I like them. I want to learn new things and experiment with inspiration. I want to grow as a photographer. ...but when do I have the time?

I want to start running again. The other night I was lacing up my shoes to mow the lawn, which I ended up skipping, and I had a jolting urge to just take off down the street. The air was cool enough, and my spirits were high- I just wanted to go. Its been a year and a half since I ran. First the baby was my excuse, and then my facial paralysis and headaches. So whats my excuse now? Time. A lack of a decent pair of running shoes (because really, who has an extra $60 laying around?). Fear. ...Its just another thing that I want to do for myself, that would take away from all of the other things that I want to, or should, be doing, and if I take an hour to do that now, then I'll just be up an hour later, making up for the things that I didn't get done when I was out doing that other thing.

I'm finding that I get jealous, pissy even, over the most ridiculous of things. Somebody wearing makeup- because Lord knows I don't have the time for blush and eyeliner. Somebody going on vacation- we've never been on a vacation. We never even had a honeymoon. We've never even had a night, or a few hours even, without the kids. Women with clothes that fit, people with places to be, I AM LOSING IT.

I need a vacation. I need my best friend. I need to laugh with my Dad over something stupid that we used to do when I was 15 and we spent summers out on his boat singing songs about wearing towel turbans on our heads and dodging boat attacking bees.

...I need to have the ocean wipe away my name that I worked so hard to write. So that I can write it again. And again. And again.

There. I got it all out. Most of it at least. I feel like my heart has slowed down a beat or two since I sat down and started typing, so I must have done something right. Even if it was all nonsense that you just skimmed through to get to the flashback at the end of the page. ...I probably would have done the same.

And now onto our feature presentation-



No detailed story tonight. This is one of my favorite pictures (2006), although I've never admitted that to myself until now, taken in one of the bathrooms at my parents farm house. And really, I just want to look at it for awhile.

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So heres what we do. Every week we dig through our memories- old cell phone pictures, polaroids from 1986, something that you pulled out of a dirty shoe box- and we flashback to it. We show it off, and we write about it. We take ourselves back to that place, with as little or as much detail as our hearts are willing to share. Scan it, upload it, copy and paste it from your livejournal (remember those?)- display your memories in whatever way works for you. And then grab out button way down at the bottom of the page there (or link back old fashioned text style), add it to your flashback, add your link to our flashback, and if you've got an extra minute- maybe browse around and read some of the flashbacks left by others. Its just for fun. And really- memories are too precious to be left in an old dirty shoe box.








This is a comment-free blog. (And tonight its probably better that way, yeesh, sorry)