Pittin' Out With Travis Barker

Last December (I say it like it wasn't just a few weeks ago), Christopher asked me what I wanted for Christmas, and I had told him "every Blink 182 album on my ipod". Because, I remember very clearly, at 12 or 13 years old, hearing Dude Ranch for the first time (I think I had seen the video for My Girlfriend (Josie), and then gone out and bought the cd, which for a 13 year old- is a big purchase), and loving it. And then going to the store the day that Enema of the State came out, and loving that. I think I was 14 then? Whatever- the point that I'm getting at, is I'm a total geek for Blink 182.

There was a point in my teenage years where it wasn't cool to like them, after Enema of the State got popular I think, so I probably hid my poster in the closet, but- I knew every word to every song, and they made my growing girl heart happy.

Somewhere along the way, cds got lost or scratched, or in one case- broken in half when jammed into the glove box of my purple Ford Escort, and they kind of got forgotten about. But randomly, while I'm brushing my teeth or someone says something that triggers a lyric related memory- I burst into song, and am constantly reminding myself how much I love them.

So anyways, I asked Christopher to download all of the albums onto my ipod for me. And he did.

Yesterday we were on our way to the store, listening to Enema of the State for the first time in God knows how long, and when the song was over, little Charlie (who is only freshly turned 2, mind you) shouts out "dat was a gweat song Dadddyyyy!".

Yesss!!

So then today, I look over at Christopher, who I suspect doesn't give a crap about the question I'm about ask him, and say "what should I flash back about?". And he answers "Blink 182".

Hey thats a great idea, but- I don't have any pictures to use.

"Don't you have pictures from some old shows or something?", he asks.

I think, and think, and- yeah no, I didn't really take too many pictures of shows back then. Probably not.

And then he says "Um. You have a picture of you with Travis Barker".

...Crap.
Hes right.

We go back and forth for awhile. Me saying how its too embarrassing to post, him saying that I have to do it, me pointing out all of my flaws in the photograph, him saying that I don't have to if I don't want to, me feeling guilty for being embarrassed about nothing that matters...

Did I mention that I used to date Travis Barker?

Ok no, thats a total lie.

See, 15 year old Tia would have been so starstruck, that she was standing next to the guy, that she would have peed her pants. But 20 year old Tia, seems to have just peed her armpits- check out those pit stains (it was summer and I had been drinking hot vodka out of a coffin shaped flask sewn into my purse). ...this is why I didn't want to post the picture, hahah, because of the oceans under my arms that were very visible and practically shouting "look at me" from atop the yellow cherry covered fabric that I wore.

And I guess its not so much that I'm embarrassed if yoooou see the terrible sweat marks that I paraded about in, its that- freakin' Travis Barker saw them. That I had a full conversation with said amazing drummer, while rocking a wind blown bouffant and a waterfall from my under arms.

You know whats weird. I remember very specifically, later on (or maybe it was earlier) that day, a complete stranger coming up to me and telling me that she thought I was gorgeous. I remember feeling nervous when she said that, and looking around to see if anybody had heard her (because I felt ugly, and my cheeks burned at the thought of anybody hearing her and agreeing with me).

SO really, what I'm embarrassed about, is how self conscious I was back then. How down on myself I felt, and how I couldn't just take a dang compliment. How I couldn't just rock my pittin' out, and how I always thought that everyone was looking at me and judging me.

See, I'm glad Christopher made me post this picture.
I feel much better now. Thanks honey.
I'm at peace with my sweaty under arms picture with Travis Barker :)


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