Monday, September 13, 2010
If it weren't for my peppermint infused face wash, I don't think I'd be sitting upright, right now. 3 hours of sleep, just isn't enough (ahem, Miss Evelyn) for a decent style of functionality. If thats even a word.
I told myself that I had control over how my day would go. Today could go one of two ways. I could either feel sorry for myself, be grumpy and snap at everyone, mope around the house and drag ass until night fall, or- I could make the best of my day, holding off on giving into my exhaustion after the babies have been bathed, read to, and tucked into their beds at 8pm . I chose the "or", of course, so my day has been rather productive. Even as I type this, I have a 7 pound bundle of I-can't-seem-to-keep-my-bink-in-my-mouth baby, in my lap.
Since I have about 60 freshly baked chocolate wafer cookies cooling on the counter (my morning project), waiting to be turned into thin mints, I thought I'd take this time (the older two are upstairs napping) to put my fingers to the keyboard.
I'm taking an online photography class right now. Something to help me get in touch with the manual settings of my Rebel. I did great with my manuals on my Powershot, but since getting my heavy duty camera, I've only been able to operate on complete AUTO.
One of last weeks assignments was "contemplate your shot". And the shot that I wanted to get, was to capture a feeling of being 4 years old, something I've clearly lost touch with.
While Eleanore was digging through stacks of books, piling them here and there, talking with her best imaginary friend Piglet about adventures in Bear Country with the Barenstein Bears, I got down on the floor with her, and lost myself in her imagination.
Its been hard for me to understand my oldest. Shes advanced for her age, more so than I could have ever expected. She looks and acts like a teenager sometimes. And because of that, I don't always treat her like the toddler that she still is.
So recently, I've really been putting in an extra effort to be a better Mother. To understand my daughter. To see things the way that she sees them. I try to think back to when I was four, using the few memories that I have from that early on, and apply those memories to current day scenarios. In the heat of the "did you seriously just throw the etch a sketch at your brother's head?!" argument, its not always easy to put myself into a frame of mind that allows me to see outside of my mean-mommy-must-punish-naughty-daughter box.
Getting down on the floor with her, snapping picture after picture, inching closer with every frame, was the best thing I could have done. The more of the background that I cropped out, the more into her world I fell. The more I remembered what it was like to be alone in a world of unknowns, with nobody but your teddy bear as a friend and your Mommy and Daddy to teach you.
Everything came together.
I got way more out of my assignment, than just a picture.