Thursday, May 6, 2010
Thank you all for your wonderful birthday wishes that poured in over the last couple of days! My 26th ended up being my best yet (pictures and story telling soon to come), I don't see how it could possibly be topped.
Now that my birthday is over with, its time to focus on Mothers Day. Mothers Day is just as important as a birthday, if not more important, to me. My memory is foggy, when it comes to celebrating Mothers Day while I was growing up. I remember one year, very specifically, my dad letting me help him make pancakes (it was sunny that day), to bring to my Mom as part of her breakfast in bed. He told me not to touch the griddle, and probably 20 seconds later, I did the opposite and sizzled my finger tips by resting them on the edge of the hot surface. I was just so excited to be helping, that I completely overlooked his instructions, so focused on waiting to see the bubbles form and pop in the middle of the batter. I ran screaming to the sink, the cold running water being my only form of comfort. I'm sure my Mother was thrilled by the whole incident- the screaming and crying and probably cold pancakes. But the more I think about it, thats kind of what Mothers Day is about. Thats the kind of stuff we deal with on a daily basis. And while it makes us roll our eyes and stomp our feet at the time, they're all truly memorable moments that make our lives complete.
This year for Mothers Day I framed a picture of me (I always feel silly framing a picture of me for somebody else) for her to hang on her fridge, and sent along some pictures of the babies. If I lived closer, I'd probably take her out to brunch, or maybe go to her house and cook a dinner for her. But I don't, so hopefully a padded envelope full of pictures will be enough to help her feel loved.
My relationship with my Mother isn't the best. This is one of the few topics that I struggle with and shy from sharing with my friends and family. One thing is for very certain though- I love my Mother. Without her, there would be no me. I owe her everything. And now that I'm a Mother myself, I see how much sacrifice comes along with the job, and I view things differently. Lord knows, I was not an easy child to raise, especially through the teenage years. Looking back at some of the things that I put my poor Mother though, I get scared thinking about the future with my own daughter. I've learned from her parenting mistakes, I've learned from her parenting accomplishments, I've learned from watching and doing and being. So while I might keep my distance, and I might keep my guard up- I love my Mother.
This is one of the very few pictures that I have of me and her. I didn't grow up around cameras, and there weren't very many picture opportunities for the two of us as the years went on. When I got this picture in the mail a few months ago, I couldn't stop looking at it. Thats the Mother that I remember. Thats the Mother that I hold so closely to my heart. Now, and always.
I love this picture. I more than love it, I adore it.