Some Things On My Mind...

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Sometimes I have very specific things that I want to write about. And other times (like right now), I'm completely scatter brained with no particular blogging map to follow in order to navigate my words to their correct places. I have several things on my mind, that are all fighting for a chance to come out, all at once. Last week I did a sort of "On My Mind" style entry, and I really enjoyed it. I liked how the words were able to just sort of easily spill out of my finger tips. I thought I'd try it again this week, but, less organized, in an adapted kind of way? These are just a couple of things that are on my mind right now...

I'm currently reading... The Time Travelers Wife. I had borrowed it from the library here on base, but because I almost never have time to sit down and read it, it became overdue and we had to return it. Last weekend while we were out doing our bulk shopping, hubby let me pick it up off of the rack and set it inside our cart. Now that I've scooted my eyes all the way past the 100 page mark, I feel more involved. I tried to sneak in a few hours of reading yesterday, while the kids were playing outside (yesterday was a rough day, by the way, and my plan to read failed), and then a little bit in the evening while the kids took a bath upstairs with Daddy. Since it was the last thing I was doing before I went to bed, I dreamt about it. When I woke up in the middle of the night, several times, I was confused. I couldn't remember what I had really read, or what had happened in my dream. The part about the mountain of peanut butter cups though, I figured probably wasn't real, and... why was that part of my dream anyways? Every time I returned to sleep, my dream would pick up where it left off. It never does that when I want it to, but when I'm completely confused, of course it does.

The weather was so nice yesterday... I felt the need to spend as much time outside as possible. I set up our largest pink blanket in the driveway, covered in in our "outside books", and let the kids have at it. They were really into the books at first, but eventually interests drifted. Now that Charlie can walk, hes all over the place. In the rocks, in Daddy's back corner of the garage (the danger zone: oil, tools, all that stuff), crunching his way through the dead grass on the side yard, falling and bonking into things, chasing after his sister who he can't possibly keep up with. I yell at him like hes a puppy. When he gets to a certain point on the cement patio, I shout "Charlie, sit! Sit down!". If I don't, he'll continue to walk, completely ignoring the step down into the rock bed, and land face first into dirty pebbles. When he sits, I say "gooood boy Charlie, good job!" ...see, just like a puppy. While I do my best not to take my eyes off of him, sometimes I just don't catch him in time, and if I forget to yell "sit!" even once, he walks straight off, and falls into the rocks. Every time.

Sometimes I get moody... and overreact to things that wouldn't otherwise bother me. Sometimes something rubs me the wrong way, usually on days that something else has previously upset me, and my emotions spiral out of control in a hurry. Yesterday was one of those days. Something upset me, followed by something else, and before I knew it, I could hardly speak I was so mad. So of course when I did open my mouth, all that came out was shouting, and possibly fire. After Christopher got home I vented (poor guy, what an awful thing to come home to), and we decided that what I needed was some physical activity. We put Charlie in the ERGO carrier for the 2nd night in a row, this time fitting on my shoulders much more comfortably, and off we went. We walked almost 3 miles before coming home. It lifted my spirits, and released all of the anxiety and anger that had been hanging over my head like an ugly rain cloud. Sometimes I forget just how good it feels to get out and moving. I'm easily overcome with pregnancy fatigue and a case of good old fashioned laziness.

I want my babies to be healthy... so I've been putting in the extra effort to cook from scratch, more often. Obviously, with all of our allergies and intolerance's, I don't have much of a choice. But when given the option for boxed chicken nuggets, I take it. For awhile there, they were getting cold cereal every morning. I know there is nothing wrong with cold cereal, but... I can do better. Oatmeal is healthier, and I've got the time to cook it (a lot of Mothers don't). Every morning, for the past week and a half, I wake up and get started on breakfast first thing. I fill my favorite pink pan with oats and water, throw in a dash of salt, bring it to a barely boil, and then back the heat down to low. I add a big splash of soy milk, cook it until it looks good and done, pour it into the Vita Mix, add a banana and peanut butter, maybe some berries instead, and I puree it into a delicious cream of oats. The texture then becomes something much more enjoyable than that of boring ol' oatmeal, and all of the ingredients are equally divied up. I pour it into two bowls- a toddler sized one for Eleanore, and a regular size bowl for Charlie and I to share. They prefer it with peanut butter and bananas, but this morning we had neither. Instead I filled the pot of cooking oats with both blueberries and raspberries, resulting in a bright purple puree in the end. The baby gobbled it up, as did I, but the toddler made a fuss and had to sit by herself at the table for an hour or longer until it was all gone. I'm not one to force feed if the child isn't hungry, but with Eleanore, its just a battle of who's boss. I don't spend all of that time in the kitchen cooking, followed by cleaning, for her to be a picky eater. What kid doesn't want to eat bright purple oatmeal? Next time I'm going to let her be the one to pour the berries into the pan. Maybe getting her more involved in the making of the food, even though its early and I'd much rather be working in my zombie mode alone, will help her appreciate all that goes into it.

Alright, seems like that's probably enough for today, heee. I feel a little less heavy in the head, so I must have gotten out all of the things that needed to go. Now maybe I should attend to my tantrum throwing three year old, who is currently sitting in the middle of the floor with both her arms and legs crossed, nose straight up in the air, repeating "I'm not going to talk to you anymore!". Maybe she doesn't understand that I like the silence, haha.


soul_searching_mama March 24, 2010 at 11:43 AM  

I love "The Time Traveler's Wife"!!! I hope you enjoy it too. And I totally dream about books and things that happen right before bed too, and they are *always* very complex and confusing. Which results in me being very frustrated when I wake up. :) We all have our days where everything seems to upset us and make us angry - you're not alone. And now I'm off to deal with my own tantrum-throwing toddler. I hope you have a better day today! :)

AlyGatr March 24, 2010 at 11:49 AM  

I like this blogging style. Sometimes catharsis works! Ugh...I have those days, where I feel like a house of cards standing there waiting for one little wind to blow my day to pieces. The past five days have felt like that for me, especially since I was alone with the kids for five days...and then we got some less than good medical news and I feel like I'm crumbling...and grumpy...and shouting more than I need to.

A long walk is a GREAT way to decompose. I wish I could, but with my ankle all jacked up and while I'm still waiting for my MRI results, long walks just mean a night of restless sleep with an throbbing foot. GRRRRRRRRRR

They call me mommy... March 24, 2010 at 12:21 PM  

I can totally relate to this whole blog! Its almost like you can read my mind! I love the style too, once you get a little starter it is way easier to get your thoughts out of the jumble.I have the exact same problem if I read before I sleep! Its crazy how much books stick in your subconscious! It was really bad when I was reading the Shack, I kept waking in the middle of the night and rushing to make sure my kids were alright.
My son is a crazy mess when we go outside too,I am constantly freaking out when I turn around and he's not where I saw him last! I have strongly considered a leash even though I don't really like the idea. LOL
Julie is also a picky eater and it does help if I let her help or let her choose between 2 different meal ideas.(=
Hope u have a great day!

Chana March 24, 2010 at 12:32 PM  

I love this little "segment" you do! And now, you have made ME starving for oatmeal! I shouldn't read your posts around lunch:)

beka March 24, 2010 at 12:57 PM  

Loved this post. :)
Have you seen the movie of Time Traveler's Wife? Just wondering.
Ha, yes. We have oatmeal alot. Thank goodness everyone's older (9yrs+) and we're past the tantrum stage, but if they don't want oatmeal, they just go make themselves an egg and toast. Haha.

I'm told I can get pretty moody, though I don't have the excuse of pregnancy hormones and sensitivity. :]

That walk sounds so good, though. Up and down our whole street around the boulevards is about 1 1/2 miles, so when we can we go the whole thing twice. :)

Purple oatmeal? Whoa. We sooo need to try that! ;)

beka March 24, 2010 at 12:57 PM  

p.s. --Goodness, I love that picture. Where'd you get that coffee mug?? I love it. :)

Colleen March 24, 2010 at 3:03 PM  

I love dreams even when they are confusing. I just find them fascinating. Any dream that involves a huge pile of peanut butter cups is a GOOD dream! :)

I also happen to love purple oatmeal, although we eat it un-pureed with smashed blueberries and a little cinnamon. It's like a blueberry muffin, but much better for you. Yum.

Oh Mandie! March 24, 2010 at 8:01 PM  

I have to say that I like this blogging style .... so much so that I just might steal, I mean borrow, it someday.

We have buckwheat pancakes a lot here for breakfast in the mornings with berries and Gage gets the same way and it drives me NUTS! Just keep reminding yourself that your kitchen is not a resturant and you are not a short order cook, thats what I do :)

Hobocamp Crafts March 25, 2010 at 9:46 AM  

that sounds like a delicious breakfast! I wonder, were you scared to give Charlie peanuts? I asked our dr and they said wait till 2 or older- but everyone I know gives their babe p.butter- it is such a great,easy protein! Love to hear your thoughts!

Nen March 25, 2010 at 11:13 AM  

I wish I liked oatmeal!!! You make it sound so good! I've tried... but maybe I should try harder. (unfortunately oatmeal cookies don't count!)

I've never read the Time Travelers Wife... or seen the movie. Might pick it up at the library though, now that you've mentioned it! Have you ever read "Where the Heart is"? (about the girl who has a baby in walmart) I always enjoyed the movie.. so I picked up the book... and enjoyed the book even more! I recommend it!

Philomena Bohemian March 25, 2010 at 2:39 PM  

Time Traveler's Wife is a great book! I was totally engaged throughout! The movie isn't half bad either, I wondered how they would pull it off but in the end I felt it did the book justice. By the way, how is Charlie these days? Hope all is well with you & the fam!

Bobbi Janay @When did I go from a kid to a grown up? March 25, 2010 at 11:07 PM  

I know I will never be able to read time travelers wife. We all have days like that, right now I seem to be having lots of them. Hope it all is better. I love my Ergo.

Hello there! My name is June March 27, 2010 at 7:44 PM  

I'm going to have to make oatmeal the way you do! It sounds super yummy like a warm peanut butter and banana oatmeal cookie!


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