Smile lines.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Over the past few months, my smile lines have doubled in depth. Obviously its because I smile way more these days. Not because I'm getting older. Or maybe because of my recent weight loss. It couldn't be that second option at all, right?

After taking this picture, my eyes immediately darted to my smile lines. To me, they take up my entire face. They stand out like a Unicorn in a field of pigs (hahah, what?!). Christopher says they're "cute". What kind of response is that anyways? Well whatever they are, they're probably here to stay, and I should get used to them.

Today I had to step on a scale. Not just a scale, but a real scale, of the working variety, with accuracy and history. I had a doctors appointment (my very favorite kind, with cold metal objects and backless gowns), where I had no choice but to step onto the digital beast and face my doom. The scale there has always been neck and neck with the scale at the gym, so I knew it would read accurately. I was praying for 189. Please, 189, be there. 189, 189, 189. Come on, come on, come on. I've been doing my shred for nearly 3 weeks now, with incredible results in the muscle department. I've adjusted my diet in ways only crazy people would. I just knew, without knowing at all, that I had to weigh 189.

Yes, I'm about to post my actual weight (I can't believe I'm doing this).







193. Stop.

....Oh. 193. Thats definately not 189. Thats... I've only lost 3 lbs.

Heartbreak. Failure. Denial. Disappointment. Blaaaaaaaaaaaah.

I spent the entire afternoon fighting with the once-was-determination in my head. I've been working so hard. I expected so much more. Where are the results I've been chasing? Christopher reminded me that I've lost a load of inches in the fat department (theres no nice way to put it), and pointed to the area on my arm where a pool of blubber once lived, but is now being leased by a loyal tenant that I picked up at the gun show (totally lame, but I crack myself up). I did some texting, re weighed myself on the scale at the gym, went for a drive, and eventually my head cleared and I came to a realization.

3 pounds, is better than no pounds.

Maybe I've been trying too hard. I've kind of got a lot going against me, with breastfeeding, and my dietary restrictions, and my busy schedule. Every day I push myself as far as I can. I want to wake up sore in the morning, so that I know I couldn't possibly have pushed myself any harder. And I think because of that, I've put too much stress on my body. I've hit my plateau. I've heard people talk about weight loss plateaus before, but never really understood how your body could just stop responding. Well I understand now. Unfortunately.

I'm not going to stop my 30 Day Shred. I committed myself to it, and I'm going to finish it. Its transformed my unwanted jiggle spots into tightened functional body parts, and for that I'm thankful. Instead of doing it every day though, no. I'm going to start taking a day of rest in between my workouts. Even when I'm finished with the shred. Every other day, until I can get back on track.

So just like I have to accept my smile lines. I have to accept that my body is not going to change overnight, no matter how hard I push it.


kcroteau July 2, 2009 at 7:23 PM  

fact: muscle weighs more than fat.

you've been building up your muscles faster than losing the fat.

so don't worry about it cause you look great! :D

Megan July 2, 2009 at 7:26 PM  

I wouldn't worry too much, either. You've changed your body and are getting healthier. And I applaud you for doing it with your schedule...I have no kids and work part time and I still find myself slacking!

(And smile lines are cute. Kyle has them.)

Chubby Stubby Kay July 2, 2009 at 8:10 PM  

You are doing an amazing job! It's not easy sticking with that Shred DVD, but you are doing it!

3 pounds is a great loss! And like KCroteau said, Muscle weighs more than fat. With guns like yours, it's no wonder you have had a small (3 pounds is a good loss if ya ask me) loss, you are gaining muscle!

You are doing great! Keep up the good work. :)

Giggly July 2, 2009 at 8:46 PM  

Yay for smile lines!
I would LOVE to weigh 193 or anything in the "1" department. You'll get to your weight goal soon enough mama! GO TIA!

Philomena Bohemian July 2, 2009 at 8:59 PM  

I'll tell you a quick story about a girl fighting the weight loss battle. Like you I was obsessed with the scale and all it did was mess with my head. Over the course of about 5 months I worked out at least 5 times a week and was counting my calories. For the longest time nothing changed. I fought to keep from being discouraged and giving up, I too thought I had hit my plateau. Then all of a sudden the weight started dropping off, none of my clothes fit and after about 3 months I finally got on a scale and was amazed to see that I had lost 23lbs!! It will happen for you, it IS happening for you- you are seeing changes in your body and that means oh so much more than what the scale says. I've always heard you should go by how your clothes fit, not what the numbers say. I fell off the wagon with my excercise & healthy eating and I've gained some back but you have inspired me to keep on going. You are a champion!! Keep it up!!

LeaKarts July 2, 2009 at 9:00 PM  

I agree, your smile lines ARE cute! And 3 pounds is fantastic! I've been losing about .5 to 1.5 pounds a week, and that is with jogging (never before in my LIFE have I done that!) and major diet changes too. It is frustrating, but at least it's coming off! Slow is better than not at all, and this way it should be a permanent loss.

Plus, I can't even imagine losing weight while breastfeeding! When I was breastfeeding my daughter, I felt like I was constantly starving. You are doing great!

p.s. Thank you for turning me on to the Shred--I'm doing it now too! And double thank you for all of your super honest, funny, touching, inspiring blog posts. I love reading what you have to say :)

Amy July 2, 2009 at 9:35 PM  

193 is NOT bad! I would love to be that. Also, I weigh a lot more than you and lost 3 pounds last week- following Weight Watchers strictly, doing the shred and walking. I really think that The Shred is helping me build muscle that I NEED, but that is heavy. I, too, expected to lose more last week, but exercise is getting easier, so I know my body is changing.

Three pounds is NOT bad! I've been told that it's better to lose weight slowly, because you'll be less likely to yo-yo back.

SOOOO, congrats on your three pound loss and your de-flab-ifying! Many people are on the same journey as you and remember that you can lean on us for support! :)

paperbullet July 2, 2009 at 9:40 PM  

It's a hard road, any of us would love to look as beautiful as you. weight is not always the issue. do you feel better? do you think you look better? the number is not as important as the feeling. i think you look great. =)

saybra July 2, 2009 at 9:54 PM  

Smile lines! What a blessing! Seriously! I have a friend that says she can tell when a woman has had a tough life--frown lines and such. Smile lines mean you're happy! AND. P.S. I looooove lines in faces---wrinkles, dimples, anything! They add so much character and life to a person. For real. I welcome the day when I have white-grey hair and wrinkles all over!
You look amazing.

Christopher And Tia July 2, 2009 at 10:01 PM  

Thank you so much for the support everybody. I honestly feel kind of embarrassed to have complained so heavily for the public, but I appreciate that each and every one of you was here to pat me on the back. :)

xx Tia

JuliaA July 3, 2009 at 2:00 AM  

that's a good attitude to try to have.

and, btw, you're beautiful.

JuliaA July 3, 2009 at 2:00 AM  

that's a good attitude to try to have.

and, btw, you're beautiful.

tippytoe foxtrot July 3, 2009 at 9:54 AM  

Buck up lil' camper! You are doing amazing!! Just think of all the calories you burn when you breastfeed. That's what I do. ;) I totally understand where you are coming from though. I had my baby in February and the last 20 (I gained *60* pounds) will not budge. I've been doing the Shred video too (with the sound off. Dear Jillian, your comments about phoning it in make me want to punch you in the throat) and it has been kicking my butt. I get really frustrated when the numbers on the scale don't reflect how hard I've been working. Even if I go down a size or have a smaller waist, I still want to heave the scale out the window if it doesn't show a change! It's frustrating to say the least. You made awesome progress and are sticking with it. I am sending you a high five through the internets.

Also, FACT: My baby is almost 5 months old and I'm still wearing maternity pants.

ps. Your smile lines are darling. I noticed I have lines on my forehead. Does that mean I look perplexed all the time?

Michele Maule July 3, 2009 at 5:35 PM  

You should be so proud of yourself Tia. Most people would have given up at the get go.

Muscle does way more than fat, and numbers on the scale don't mean anything. It's how you feel about yourself, and how you feel since working out, that are important.

You're a tough, strong lady, and I am sure a huge inspiration to me and plenty of people who read your blog! You should be really proud of that.

Amy July 9, 2009 at 12:03 PM  

Your gun show comment MADE MY DAY. You admittedly make yourself laugh, so you'll be happy to know that you make me laugh too.

Amy July 9, 2009 at 12:04 PM  

P.S. You DO look great.

Amy July 9, 2009 at 12:05 PM  

P.P.S. I think our bodies need rest. I've really been digging the level 1, level 2, level 3, rest, repeat. Maybe that would help?

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