Monday, June 15, 2009
Saturday afternoon, my black fluffy kitty, Spooky, jumped up onto my lap, so I had no choice but to snuggle and kiss her all over. All over, including her cute little kitty mouth. In mid kiss, I realized what I was doing. Not the I-kiss-my-cat-on-her-mouth part, that doesn't embarrass me at all, but the I'm-kissing-cat-food, part (oh and it smelt so bad)... crap. Our cat food is wheat free, but not gluten free. I thought about it for a second, put the cat down, and went on with my day thinking the chances of me having a reaction were so slim, it wouldn't really matter. I forgot about the entire incident until a few hours later when I was on the couch unable to move, begging God to forgive me for my accidental gluten filled sin. I kept telling myself that it was from something else, and the pain would pass in a few minutes. The pain only got worse, and before I knew it, I was being poured into bed by my extremely patient and forgiving husband. There I stayed, until the echoes of a happy bouncing baby woke me up the next morning. Christopher had let me sleep in. And oh, I felt so much better! But, that doesn't change the fact that I had missed my shred the day before, which made me feel like a failure. All of the "but you were sick" reassurances in the world couldn't have made me feel better. I was still exhausted, and not entirely recovered, but I had to get up and complete my 6th workout. After some coffee and some breakfast, I hit the mat. I'm a bit obsessive, this I know.
My 6th day of the 30 Day Shred was harder than the previous days. I still had gluten in my system, and was moving like a snail carrying a brick for a shell. The sweat was dripping, my muscles were screaming, but in the end, I had done it. I felt so bad, for missing the previous day, that I even attempted to do the workout again. Actually, I flipped to level 3, to see just how hard it was. Um... yeah that didn't last long, haha. After the first round I put it back onto level 1. But then after the first round of that, I voluntarily collapsed on the floor and told Christopher to turn the DVD player off, I was done. He knew how badly I wanted to do another workout to make up for the previous days skip, so he encouraged me to get back up, but I just didn't have it in me, no matter how hard I was trying.
Day 7: The gluten is long gone, and I'm feeling great. The Shred isn't getting any easier though, because as I get stronger, I'm submerging myself into the moves twice as hard as I was when I first started. My form is different. I'm sticking my butt out as far as I can go, I'm holding my abs in until they sting, and I'm wearing 3 bras at once so that I can do the entire set of jumping jacks. The more I do it, the less I slack, the harder I try, the more Jillian's annoying banter makes sense. When she says to sink lower into my lunge, I do. When she tells me the only person I'm cheating is myself, shes right. I still have to stop occasionally to tend to small children who insist on trying to crawl even though they know they can't, but instead of moving on, I rewind it. Even 30 seconds makes a difference, and I'm really committed to changing my body.
I had Christopher hide the scale in the garage, to tame my awful obsession with numbers. This isn't a race to lose weight. I need to remember that.
(picture by honeyandjamphotos)