An Angel wrote me an email.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

I've always felt like a mediocre Mom. I grunt and groan when it comes to changing messy diapers, I get frustrated and snap at my 2 year old over nothing of importance, and I fantasize about running away with my camera to a rainy tropical island where plus size woman are worshiped. But in between all of that, I try my hardest to be the best mother that I can be. When my head clears, I remind myself "shes only 2, its not personal, calm down". I remind myself to mother my kids the way that I wish my mom had mothered me. I remind myself not to sweat the little things like the dishes or the mounds of laundry, because they will always be there, but the jack rabbit hopping across the street will not. So my kids play outside in diapers, or when I'm really feeling crazy, naked. We turn everything into a song, and speak with ridiculous accents for no reason. We bake sweets on Saturday mornings, and toss a handful of chocolate chips on top of a boring meal. While my kids are still young, I have to change. I grew up knowing that exercises was a punishment, vegetables were for snobs, and water was something you only used to bathe yourself with, or swim in. I know better now. I want my kids to grow up, knowing, that we can't laugh unless we exercises, our lips and eyes won't have color unless we eat our vegetables, and we'll dry up like grape-turned-raisins if we don't drink our water.

Nobody ever says "hey, you're a good mom". I don't earn any certificates for my job, like my husband does. I beat myself up over sending my daughter to bed with no lunch, because there isn't anyone to remind me that if I don't do it, nobody else will. Its been said countless times that there isn't a handbook for raising children, but when you're the one alone in a house with 2 small children for 5 days straight without leaving the house, you don't give a crap about whether there is a handbook or not. All you can think about, is how you've lost yourself in the madness of raising your children, how the air is too thick to breathe, how you've taken enough ibuprofen to sedate an elephant, and then feel guilty about feeling the way that you feel about the things that you can't change.

Yesterday out of nowhere, I got an email from a gal that wants to remain anonymous, but is most likely an Angel sent from Motherhood Heaven. It took me by such surprise, I sat here and read it 10 times before I was able to let it sink in... that I might not be as mediocre as I once thought?

"I just wanted to tell you that I wish I could be more like you. I check your blog as often as possible. I have two kids as well. My son is 2 1/2, and my daughter is just over one. I admire your motivation and your ability to write so well in your blog when you have so much going on for you. I don't know why I'm writing this, but I think you are great and I just wanted to let you know that".


ElegantSnobbery June 16, 2009 at 10:33 AM  

Ah, mommy-guilt. Its so hard, isn't it?? We all have our bad days! Sometimes, I bust my butt to be the happiest, funnest, most playful mom on the planet, and Gracie wants NONE of it. *sigh* parenting isn't easy.

Amanda June 16, 2009 at 11:15 AM  

for the record, i also think you're awesome.

Hobocamp Crafts June 16, 2009 at 12:05 PM  

CAUTION : I wish I had written you that, because I think that all the time when I read your blog. I also wish we were closer so I could bring Hazel over to play with E&C everyday and we could drink soychai lattes. Ahem reality check, melissa
. You are gorgeous and you and your husband have such a wonderful thing- naturally your children are happy adorable babes! We all lose our cool at times- mine isn't during dirty diapers- mine is at night when the babe has been up 3 x's before and I am a zombie and it is around 3am- then I lose my cool big time. But knowing other moms I admire also lose it- inspires me and is like getting a big hug from motherhood. keep on keeping on and thank you for sharing it. we love you!!

BeckyKay June 16, 2009 at 12:37 PM  

Whoever sent you that email is absolutely right, Tia! You ARE an awesome mom! :)

jessicajane June 16, 2009 at 12:42 PM  

how sweet :) you can bet your butt i will be calling you up every time i need advice, when i have kids. haha.

Maggie June 16, 2009 at 12:44 PM  

I agree with the other posters. Oh, and that picture of the baby makes him look just like your husband- he sort of has the same expression as your husband has in the avatar.

OliveStreetStudio June 16, 2009 at 12:45 PM  

That was so nice!!! Whenever you're doubting yourself or just feling blue- reread that wonderful note. Your baby is adorable....!!

five dot design June 16, 2009 at 1:55 PM  

i heart you tia!
p.s. i let my little miss play outside naked all the time... when else will it be socially acceptable for them to do that?

LeaKarts June 16, 2009 at 7:09 PM  

You are a fantastic mama! I'm so glad someone send you that lovely email :)

justagirl June 16, 2009 at 7:26 PM  

sometimes that's all it takes, a little reminder that you are doing so much more then ok... we all need those every once and a while.

I have been talking on my blog about the sinking feeling motherhood has delt me lately. I have a 3 year old and a 15 year old.

Loved reading through you blog.

Mommie Daze June 16, 2009 at 8:31 PM  

Wow! You put in to words what I feel all the time about motherhood. I guess we should give ourselves a break once in a while.

Lindsay Sledge,  June 17, 2009 at 1:17 AM  

Hey Tia, remember me....Lindsay from Abilene. I found your blog by accident a couple of months ago and now it's one of my favorites. I'm sorry I never got to properly say goodbye to you. I always wanted to thank you, you helped me get through that hard year...anyway, I agree I think you are a wonderful mom. I too am always trying to be the mom I wish I had. It's not always easy. Charlie is adorable by the way...anyway, take care, hang in there.

Christopher And Tia June 17, 2009 at 8:29 AM  

All of your comments are SO, NICE. I didn't expect the email, or any of the comments that went along with my posting it. But every single one of you warmed my heart.

ElegantSnobbery- Mom guilt IS the worst.

Amanda- I think you're awesome too :)

Hobocamp- I wish we lived closer too. Hazel is so adorable, I'd love to see her personality. Charlie would have a crush on her for sure, and Eleanore would melt over her cuteness. I would too. We'd have IBS baking parties, haha. I'm so glad you got inspired by my losing my cool, because knowing that you lose yours too, is inspiration as well. I think our babies make us all a little crazy.

Becky- thank you. I think you're a great mom too. Making you son giant dinosaur pinatas :)

Jessicajane, you're so good with kids, I doubt you'll need my help. But if you do, I'll be here. You'll have SUCH cute kids, by the way.

Maggie- They DO have the same expression don't they? Aw thanks for pointing that out. So cute. Unlike Elie, Charlie looks more like me (yes! Finally!), so seeing the resemblance between him and Christopher is really refreshing. I didn't have an affair with the cute gate guard afterall, haha. JOKE. Total joke.

OliveStreet- Thankyou. I will have to go back and read that email often, for sure.

Fivedot- Hooray for naked babies!!! I heart you too :)

Angela- soooo sweet.

Leakarts- thank you so much.

justagirl- Having a teenager and a toddler at the same time sounds like a LOT of work. I'm going to have to see if you have an active blog that I can follow, because someday that might be me, and I can use all of the advice I can get.

Mommie Daze- Its so rough, isn't it? Yes, give yourself a break, for sure. I'm sure you're harder on yourself about the way you parent your children than anyone else is.

Persimmons- Thank you :)

LINDSAY! LADY! Yes, of course I remember you, crazy. I was wondering what happened to you. How is Italy?! My husbands cousin is stationed there as well, and whenever I see pictures on her myspace, I think of you. I hope that you're happy, and Selah is doing great. It must be so nice being back with your husband. I miss you. Abilene still sucks.

Art Kitten June 17, 2009 at 9:20 PM  

You are an AWESOME mom, and one that I also look up to for inspiration your anonymous angel is right, thank you for posting about your trials and your accomplishments, you are so easy to relate to and we will keep reading

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