I vowed not to be that girl...

Thursday, June 5, 2008

It has been way too long since I've gone to a concert. The last time I went, I was 6 months pregnant with Eleanore. I moved away from Portland a week later. Can you believe that its been two years? Neither can I. Abilene isn't exactly thumping with bass beats or screaming with wind carried vocals. And as far back as I can remember, I associate summer with music. I feel kind of lost in the warm weather if there's not a tour to tail or a new album to play on repeat. And I'm not kidding when I say play on repeat. I can listen to the same 12 songs over and over again until most people would want to pull their own hair out. I'm kind of known for it actually. All of my friends would agree that riding in my car is probably both predictable and annoying. Christopher has gotten used to it. Back in the day when we had first met, I cruised around in a bitchin Kia Sportage convertible, with the music blasting. I remember one time I picked Christopher up from his house when I got off work, and an Eagles song came on the radio. I turned it up as we crossed the Fremont Bridge, and sang so loud it didn't matter how off key I was. I looked over at him in the passenger seat ...aaaand, nothing. Why wasn't he singing? Not only was he not singing, but he looked mad even. How can the Eagles make anyone mad? I think most of us grew up listening to them. So I turned the volume down, and asked something along the lines of "you... don't like Hotel California?". He turned and looked at me, and then replied with a "Nope", said in a way that was meant to make me feel like "I'm better than you. You like bad music. And for that you suck". He had no explanation as to why when I asked. He just, didn't like them. So from that point on, whenever the Eagles would come on the radio, I'd turn it up to maximum volume and wait for him to crack. Wait to see him mouthing the lyrics out of the corner of my eye. It turned out later on, that he made that up. He said that about every band. If someone liked it, then he didn't. He was that guy. (I was right, he did like the Eagles!!) I vowed never to be that girl. He has no problem making fun of himself for the way that he used to front, which is good, because I tease him for it pretty much daily. And at one point in our relationship, he had purchased 2 of the same Eagles albums. If I like a band, or a song, or an anything, I don't want to be ashamed of it. My sister in law once put me down (not to my face, but in a forum that I stumbled upon accidentally. She apologized and had the moderator delete her comments, and that was that) me for liking Disney movies. Saying I couldn't be "punk", or "emo", or "rockabilly" if I liked Disney. ...Says who?! I don't claim to be any of those things (I think its pretty high-school to label yourself in those ways), but even if I did, I'd like to think that I could be any or all of them, and still have the freedom to like whatever I want to like.

So, there are a few things that I'm not ashamed to love, that I'd like to get out in the open...

Alkaline Trio. They will always be my favorite band. Sweet pickles. I've never liked dill. Its hard to find a sweet that doesn't have high fructose corn syrup though. If anyone knows of a good brand, please please tell me. I love red lipstick. I'd wear it to bed if I could. Vintage luggage, not brushing my hair, black fingernail polish. I love bagels with cream cheese, but sadly I've developed allergies to both. If only I could find allergen free food that actually tasted good. I'd love that too. I love baby bunnies. And kittens. And puppies. And anything small and fuzzy. Cliche to some, but adorable and injected with happiness to me. I love a warm rain. I love the beach at night. I love the bug-less part of nature. Watching the weather channel when there's a storm. Christmas lights and Christmas sweaters. Scrabble. I really love scrabble. That warm tingly feeling in your face when you wake up from a deep sleep, and you've got pillow marks on your face. I love sing alongs. And musicals. Aprons and racks of fresh baked cookies. Clean scented sheets. Opening up a new jar of peanut butter. I love listening to the gears shift while I'm driving at night. I love sitting on the couch with a big fluffy comforter. Halloween movies. Not so much the scary kind, since I have a tendency to have nightmares, but the cute ones. Road trips where you're on the road at sunrise, and have so much to talk about you don't even realize you've been driving for 5 hours. Themed parties. Old crappy cars with nice paint jobs. Gluten free beer. Getting tattoos for the thrill of the sting. Dressing up, photo shoots, strawberry lemonade. Walking around a certain neighborhood just to see and be seen.... you get the point.
Sometimes I just need to remind myself (and others), that its OK for me to be myself, while being everything else that I'm supposed to be. Even though I'm a mom and a military wife, I can still go to concerts, and I can still wear cleavage enhancing shirts. Thankyouverymuch.


jessicajane June 5, 2008 at 12:55 PM  

it's always nice to make a list of things you like every once in a while. did you ever make the, "things i want in my next boyfriend" list? cause I did, and i pulled it out to see if my husband fit all the requirements, i think he fit everything except he doesnt have tattoos. Haha.

Hybrid Hopes June 5, 2008 at 2:17 PM  

I still feel like a douchebag for that, and pay penance everytime I think of it.

:*/ <--- this is a blushing steph.

i'm the wicked sister-in-law who types before she thinks, who takes things out on people who don't deserve it, who jumps to ridiculous conclusions.

I know that words cut deep, and still i was a jerk.

I donno if i can apologize enough to make myself feel better and to make you realize I didn't mean those terrible words.

Guiltily yours,

Choose your weapon.
Mine -- the telephone, my tongue,
Both black as a gun

Christopher And Tia June 5, 2008 at 3:08 PM  

Steph, you don't need to apologize or feel guilty. It was years ago, we all say things we wish we could take back. I've since forgiven you (really, I have though). The only reason I wrote it into my ramblings, was because it taught me how to stick to my guns. I like the little mermaid gosh dangit, haha, and I don't care who knows it. We were raised very differently. Don't blush. Remember when I used to make y'all listen to "part of your world" in my car? Yep... I can see how that can be annoying.

Hybrid Hopes June 5, 2008 at 3:37 PM  

I have to admit, i get excited whenever i hear the gookie song. it makes me smile every damned time.

Grooveycrafts June 14, 2008 at 9:05 AM  

I know that feeling about the music playing blaring out of your when the sunshining, your windows rolled down just because it makes you feel good (the sun always does that to me).

Oh disney movies are the best, I think they appeal to both adults and children which is a good thing since children tend to watch them over and over and over....

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