I'm not a playa I just crush a lot.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Before I met Christopher, I would constantly be labeling people as my "________ boyfriend". My Whole Foods boyfriend, my gas station boyfriend, my coffee shop boyfriend. I think I had a coffee shop boyfriend for every coffee shop in the Portland Metropolitan area. Now that I've been married for 2 years, rather than "_______ boyfriends", I get "_______ crushes". People crushes I call them. These crushes can be either male, or female. It makes no difference. ...So what makes a crush? I don't know. Personal style maybe. Attitude. Scent. All the same things that would attract you to your significant other I suppose. When I'm comfortable with my surroundings, I see a people crush, and attack. I instantly go in for the kill, and address their crushing qualities. Sometimes, depending on the intensity of my heart beat, I'll be too shy to say anything. Usually if I see the person frequently, I'll be able to muster up the courage to start a conversation. But occasionally I'll miss my chance, and my crush will be gone forever. Such a sad story that we all know too well. The other day while I was at work, the most gorgeous girl I've ever seen my life walks in. Shes tall, with short bleach blond hair (that I think might have actually been natural). Shes wearing a brightly colored plaid sleeveless shirt, her face and arms are covered in freckles. I can tell by her body type that shes not shopping in our store for anything other than bras. Shes got 3 or 4 kids around her, making it difficult for her to pick out the items she needs. Finally, a girlfriend of hers, lover or friend, whoever, comes in and takes the kids outside (but not before doing a double take at me, hmm). I can tell my customer crush is still having troubles, so I bite the bullet, and rush to help her. She tells me what size bra shes looking for, I can tell her cup size is much larger than that. I measure her. I'm right. We pick out a few bras together, she tries them on, they fit, we prance along telling secrets and holding hands like 7 years old's... but not really. As shes checking out, I have the opportunity to talk with her a little bit, but freeze up. Shes so pretty. I wonder if she knows how pretty she is. She must know. But she acts so, oblivious to her beauty. Instead of talking to her, I play connect the dots with her millions of tiny freckles, and before I know it, her new bras are all bagged up, and away she goes. ...Dangit. I tell all of my coworkers how perfect she was, and we all laugh at how ridiculous I am. Will I ever see her again? Probably not. I used to have a mega crush on Jason Schwartzman. His character in "Slackers" made me go hubba hubba, how creepy huh? Whenever I see a chubby guy in a military uniform, I get excited. Every time my blog crush Diana comments on one of my entries, I smile so big my face hurts. Tattoo'd guys and gals really do it for me. I want to pull them close and learn everything there is to know about each and every speck of ink. Well done tattoos make my eyes sparkle and sing. Christopher gets people crushes on guys he works with, but is always too afraid to ask them to hang out. So I'll call them up on a Saturday night, without ever having met them, and ask them to come play scrabble with us. I did this for a man crush he had a year ago. Turned out the guy and his wife were totally crazy, and caused us nothing but drama. And boy were they bad at scrabble. I guess sometimes crushes are better left as crushes. But I also think people deserve to know when they're being crushed on. Sometimes I wonder if anyone has a people crush on me. It would make my day to know such a thing. I bet someones got a people crush on you too.

25 comments:

Michele Maule April 27, 2008 at 12:57 PM  

I love this blog entry!!

I have sooooo many people crushes.
When I worked at New Seasons (a local grocery store in PDX) I had a new crush everyday...

I have some Etsy crushes now...sigh...so many :)

Great blog!

Jenney April 27, 2008 at 3:34 PM  

Oh, good... It's not just me! I crush on the guys in short-shorts jogging past my house, the cute dude in line at the grocery store, the hottie playing frisbee at the park with no shirt... and on and on! I also have some Etsy crushes... people whose art is just so cool that i want to meet them and be their bestest friend ever.

Molly Moo Vintage April 27, 2008 at 3:50 PM  

God i've lost count of my people crushes. My latest was the guy who did merchandising in my store....he was a cutie! Great blog by the way!

ah April 27, 2008 at 4:18 PM  

Crushes are so fun. They're the spice of life.

ThisOldHenHouse April 27, 2008 at 5:05 PM  

Matt Lauer is my "grown up crush" Hes seriously like 3 times my age, but I'm in love with him.

Oh, and I'm also a huge nerd.

TWO BEES IN A POD April 27, 2008 at 6:36 PM  

i super enjoyed reading this.
you write soooo well.!!!!!!!!

Momo April 27, 2008 at 6:51 PM  

Love the story and the selection in this blog entry. Cool!

Block Party Press April 27, 2008 at 7:36 PM  

Great entry and blog! I know just what you are talking about. I even create scenarios in my head about what they are like and what we would do together. It's fun. Thanks so much for including my pendant!

Memoirs of a Mental Mind April 27, 2008 at 9:00 PM  

I just read your whole blog in one sitting i think...unless im missing something...so like i told you in the forums your my new people crush...and i'm your new blog addict...you are such an intersting person...can't wait to hear more of your stories! ;)

Persimmons Gal April 28, 2008 at 7:59 AM  

I kinda have a blog crush on you.

Christopher And Tia April 28, 2008 at 8:38 AM  

awwwww, you guys!! don't make me blush!!

erinpetersonart April 28, 2008 at 11:16 AM  

Too many to count, I think. All across the world!!!

erinpetersonart April 28, 2008 at 11:18 AM  

OH, and Jason Schwartzman is my lover! Have you heard Coconut Records? It's him and some friends making beautiful music!

Heather Buchanan April 28, 2008 at 12:57 PM  

Jason Schwartzman is the dreamiest! Yes!

Tee hee, it's so fun to get crushes! I pretty much fall in love with every boy I see these days.

I totally have a blog/etsy crush on you, too.

Cicada Studio April 28, 2008 at 1:06 PM  

I have crushes on a bunch of people. Thing is, they thrive on the mystery. If ever I get too close or too much information and it doesn't live up to the dreamiest of my notions *pop* it's gone as quickly as it came.
Though, I have to say, the more I read your blog, the more adorable you become.

Christopher And Tia April 28, 2008 at 1:08 PM  

I have heard coconut records. I love the sound of his voice, but I don't want to ruin that by actually listening to it. Kind of like what cicada said about popping the crush bubble.

marin April 28, 2008 at 1:47 PM  

very fun to read. thanks for making my monday happy :)

Rosebud Collection April 28, 2008 at 2:34 PM  

Your blog is so cute..Good thing you got rid of the Scrabble players..they didn't sound like fun, especially being bad at Scrabble..

BabyLyons April 28, 2008 at 2:35 PM  

I just love how you write! You always bring a smile to my face :) I do think everyone gets people crushes, they're just not so willing to admit it ;)

LittleSun April 28, 2008 at 2:51 PM  

oh probably, you know I never thot anyone else did such a thing, I get crushes too.
thanx for stopping by my blog I'm adding your link.

Victoria April 28, 2008 at 8:13 PM  

Your writing is a joy to read! And crushes are so much fun, I have new ones all the time!

Diana April 28, 2008 at 8:52 PM  

You know how I feel about you, darling. Those people professing crushes on you will have to catfight me first for the honor.

I will tell you about the guy in Costco another day.

Love,
Di

Cerra April 29, 2008 at 8:53 AM  

This totally cracked me up, thank you!

Jess April 29, 2008 at 9:28 AM  

i have so many _______ crushes. and if i don't call them that then i come up with my own nicknames for them. recently I developed a crush on ryan gosling when he came into my restaurant. not for the notebook mind you but for lars and the real girl. socially awkward is much more sexy...

specialk914r April 29, 2008 at 8:02 PM  

Tia... I have to admit... You're my crush!

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