Saturday, April 26, 2008
Here's what I don't understand. Decorative candles. Really. The way I see it, there are two types of people. People that have candles and "save them" la la la, and people that have candles and burn 'em, muahahaha! First lets talk about saving candles, and then we'll talk about burning them, sound good? Okay. So you've got a few nice candles placed around your home. Your favorite is a tall round vanilla mocha scented masterpiece on your mantel. You walk past it every day, so often that you've forgotten its there. Whenever you have guests over, they comment "oh what a pretty candle. And it smells so good". You instantly remember who got it for you, and on what occasion. "Lets light it", says your guest. And like a mother bear protecting her cub, you dive for the candle and yell "noooooooo". You scoop the candle up in your arms and hit the deck. Suddenly you're in a jungle wearing all out camouflage, crawling in the mud with war paint on your face. Must. Protect. Candle. ...okay. So maybe I'm a little over dramatic. So what. But you know exactly what I'm talking about, right? Sounds familiar? For whatever reason, you just don't want to light that candle. Or any other candle. Well maybe birthday candles are OK. But you always always save them to use again next year. You like getting candles for your birthday, and Christmas. You love giving candles, because that way you can go candle shopping, and of course you have to buy a few for yourself. Your husband has forbid you from going to the dollar store, because he knows that you'll blow a hard earned 50 on tiny wax filled glasses that will do nothing but collect dust on your end tables for all of eternity. When you tell your friends and family that you're going to take up a new hobby, candle making, they all reflect back to that episode of King of Queens where Carrie makes "Mobile Homes", the most god awful cell phone cases you've ever seen in your life. Now lets flip the switch, and talk about the candle rebels. The folks who like to burn stuff! You've got decorative matchbooks and fancy candle-lighting lighters. You don't waste your time with the pretty stuff. Artistic wax statues and funky shaped wicks aren't for you (unless given to you as a gift). You just want to grab the thing by its pillared neck, and light that sucker up. When you have guests over, they look at all of your collection of half melted messes, look at you, back to the mess, back at you, and say "so you like candles huh?". It can be awkward, but you don't care. You'd do anything for your love of dripping wax. Last weekend I went to my friend Jaylynn's baby shower. She lives just down the street, in the newer base housing (which is a thousand times better than the crap caves we live in, by the way). We played a couple of baby shower games. Ya know, the ones where you see who can drink the from the baby bottle the fastest (ME!), and who can walk across the floor with a penny between their legs and drop it into the baby bottle on the floor (ME!). There were other ones, but I didn't win those ones, so who cares. I got 2 prizes. A bottle of pink nail polish, and ...a candle! I think I had that thing lit and smelling up the block before I even got through my door. Black cherry. Mmmm. I remember black cherry used to be my favorite flavor of Kool-Aid, back in the days before food intolerance's and allergies. Did any of you ever color your hair with Kool-Aid? I never did, but I remember always wanting to try it. Okay I just wanted purple hair. My favorite kind of candles are the holiday scented ones. Pumpkin spice, cinnamon stick, baked apple pie. And yes, I'm guilty of lighting up to 3 different scented candles in my house at the same time. Different rooms, but, still. I think we all got headaches. It was worth it though, to see the hot melty puddly wax pooling up against the glass holders. You can tell a lot by a person, based on how they treat a candle. Actually I don't know why I just said that. So what do you prefer? Burning or saving? Fancy or plain? I think I've still got a candle in my bedroom from when I was like 12. Ugh. I'm off to burn some wicks. Black cherry here I come!