My New Normal

Monday, August 30, 2010

I smell like sour milk!

The other day, when it was 100 degrees outside and our air conditioner was broken, while my husband was off working the first of many 12 hour shifts, while I was attempting to go to the bathroom with a baby strapped to my chest (you've done it too, right?)- I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

Holy, crap.

That woman- the one with pit stains that go down to her knees, the one that smells like somebody threw up all over her (because somebody probably did)... yeah thats me.

Maybe you need a close up of the hair? ...

Theres baby poop in my ponytail!

Thats what it looks like when bobby pins have been piling up in a hair-like grease nest for 4 days.

You read that right. FOUR days.

Its not that I'm trying not to take a shower, because just thinking about hot water and soap, as I type this, puts a big imagining-being-pampered smile on my face. Between feeding two toddlers, a newborn (who has yet to learn what a bottle is- and I like it that way), a sasquatch, and on occasion- myself... somehow, the word "shower" gets forgotten. Personal hygiene altogether. The dishes need to get loaded into the washer. Somebody has to pick up the umbilical cord stump thats been laying on the floor for the past 3 days. And what is that smell? ...oh right. Again, its me.

Taking care of 5 people, is hard y'all!
My mom pointed out that I need to include myself, in the head count.

At least I remembered to put my glasses on today, instead of leaving them beside the bathroom sink, and then wondering why my eyes refuse to focus on anything more than 5 feet in front of me.

Maybe you need a full body shot? So you can see my pajamas-gone-uniform? Try not to be jealous...

I can't leave the house, because you can see my striped underwear straight through my thin floral print bottoms!

At least theres toilet paper on the roll, right? Clearly, my priorities are all exactly where they need to be *heavy on the sarcasm*.

I did get a shower though, a couple hours later. You can only be spit up and pooped on so many times before you crack under the smell pressure, and give in to glycerin products. The minute that Christopher walked in the door, while still in his uniform, having just worked that previously mentioned 12 hour shift- I handed off the baby, gave instructions on what to do should the oven beep, and disappeared for almost an entire hour- spending most of that time shaving my legs that hadn't been touched by anyone or anything other than anti blood clotting leg braces, for the past 3 weeks.

I have a feeling my jeans are going to stay on the out-of-reach closet shelf for a very long time, at the rate I'm going.

And while I know it sounds like I'm nothing but complaints, I wouldn't trade the mold growing on my unintentional dreadlocks for fresh air and adult interaction, even if you payed me.

Ok maybe if you payed me.


ElegantSnobbery August 30, 2010 at 1:37 PM  

um... the embarrassing thing is my newborn baby is 3 and a half years old, and I'm rocking the exact same new-mom uniform as you...

*off to shower*

For a once-again new mom, I think you look pretty darned great! And jeans are way over rated!!

They call me mommy... August 30, 2010 at 1:39 PM  

Glad to hear you got a shower in (: Sadly I have been there (by there I mean a 3 day no shower streak b/c kids just take up EVERY second) Ahhh the joys of being a mother (; hope you get your air fixed sooooon darling!

Maggie August 30, 2010 at 1:55 PM  

I know you don't want to hear it, but before I read what you wrote, I saw that first photo and thought "she looks really cute". I have a photo from when my oldest was a newborn and my mom commented "they should have just taken photos of the baby". Yeah thanks mom!

Hang in there, it will all be worth it, it's just hard to remember that when someone is pooping and barfing on you.

BlushingNoir August 30, 2010 at 2:10 PM  

this post made me giggle because its SO true.. we've ALL been there! I'm still there most days. Dressing up for me is yoga pants and a 3 sizes too big t-shirt. When people invite me to weddings or events I sort of stare at them blankly... Like... WHAT? I need to find clothes?! meh.

you go girl. always remember that ;)

emily August 30, 2010 at 2:16 PM  

i think this is one of your best posts ever :)

i still sometimes go to the bathroom with hazel strapped on... at 22 months. eep.

Lacey August 30, 2010 at 2:18 PM  

uuummm, you're my hero, k. Just so you know.

Shawntae August 30, 2010 at 3:01 PM  

Kudos for you! I am sitting here in James boxer shorts and reading this I was like SHIT. I need to shower. I only have one child and its hard enough. I can't imagine what you are going through.
I love my Mobe wrap it saved my booty when King was younger!

Krystle August 30, 2010 at 3:21 PM  

My littlest is 15 months, and I just realized we finally transitiond out of the phase of having milk on my clothes 24/7 ....into the having whatever she is eating now on my clothes 24/7phase ......

Just Bits and Pieces August 30, 2010 at 3:42 PM  

LOL! You totally just made me flash back almost 2 years to when I had my 3rd! I love how you show us what really happens in your life, instead of pretending that you're all perfectly put together!!!! Soooo glad that you got to pamper yourself for an hour today....much deserved!

Allison @ I heart Change August 30, 2010 at 3:46 PM  

I remember those days. Hang in there! You're doing great.

Rachel Elizabeth August 30, 2010 at 3:55 PM  

You are so brave. I wouldn't even open to door for the ups man today because I am looking so gross. I can't wait for my husband to get home so I can shower.

April Poyer August 30, 2010 at 4:13 PM  

I think you look lovely! The best part of your outfit is the little head of red hair peeking out!

Linkie Lueville August 30, 2010 at 4:17 PM  

omg. you look wayy better than me, and my ONLY one, is 18 months. um, yeahhh. Hey, I got in a shower this morning and my hair blow dried, BEFORE 8 AM! Only because my child hasn't seen cartoons until the last week. and we discovered that you gabba gabba is actually cool. and, it's on demand for free. but, my kitchen smell something fierce right now. :/

CraftGirlAlli August 30, 2010 at 4:40 PM  

I love how honest you are!

We've all had our days! I can't even imagine having to take care of 3 kiddos...1 is hard enough for me! Major props to you!

Christina August 30, 2010 at 5:10 PM  

You still manage to be cute even without showers! :P
I remember wearing soft PJ pants for awhile afterward too. Then I moved back to the maternity jeans for comfort while not in PJs, then when I finally wore regular jeans(maybe 2 months after) I felt so...weird! :P

I skipped about 3 days of showers while in the hospital and first home back then, the first one after the ordeal felt heavenly. I hope your showers get to be more often! :)

considerthelillies August 30, 2010 at 5:21 PM  

a shower fells all the more luxurious now doesn't it? At least you know that the hectic life will calm down once new routines kick in! Glad that Christopher is such a great help for you and the kids!

indgiotwin August 30, 2010 at 6:01 PM  

That is all super funny only because I have been there! Three babies...three sections...three little calves at the milk tank. Hang in there! It doesn't stay that hard me!

Dana Domestic Diva August 30, 2010 at 6:39 PM  

im not going to lie, you totally just freaked me out. Im completely worried about having a second baby. Me and my daughter have a great schedule going!

beka August 30, 2010 at 7:10 PM  

Ahhh, my dear.
Life with little children proves to be very..... repetitive. I can hardly remember those days, being one of the children though.
But I do remember Mom living in her robe 80% of the time. (I believe us kids were a little farther apart in age??)

Hey! Pj's aren't that bad of a uniform, lady. I'm just happy for you and getting a shower!
But golly. Evelyn looks sweet and snuggly bundled to you:) Precious times!! Even if the smell gets to ya sometimes. ;)

CourtneyKeb August 30, 2010 at 7:28 PM  

I think you look pretty darn hot all wifed up.
You wear it well, mamma.

Oh Mandie August 30, 2010 at 7:50 PM  

My youngest is 3 and 1/2 and I totally live in that same exact uniform pretty much every single day.

And I say, who cares if the world sees your striped undies through your shorts!

Becky August 30, 2010 at 8:54 PM  

daaaaaamn gurrrrrl, you fly!

in all seriousness. motherhood really IS sexy. barf and all! ;)

Johanna August 31, 2010 at 1:26 AM  

Oh Tia... I love you and your brilliant writing. Just so you know, you had me laughing and almost crying in this post....
you are amazing to me. 3 kids is a lot and it takes a very strong woman to do what you are doing.
Thinking of you always...xoxo

astrogirl529 August 31, 2010 at 1:29 AM  

I'm hearing you! Having only gotten home yesterday there is no way I want to wear more than pj's. Why would I want to put the pressure of tight jeans on my deflating stomach. So glad my husband has the week off to do the school run.

The Perfect Trio August 31, 2010 at 8:46 AM  

i had forgotten about these days.
i love that you are so real!! i never get tired of reading your blog!

AlyGatr August 31, 2010 at 1:30 PM  

From she who had an unshavable mummy leg for 10 days, I feel ya! Precisely why I refused to let the doc put me in a hard cast. Another 3 weeks without shaving and having to not wash that leg would have done me in. I relish being able to actually shower my entire self, even if I have to still sit on the shower floor (since I can't stand up).

In this heat, who even wants to wear jeans? When I went on my interview the other day I had to try on all of my pants to see if any of them had legs wide enough to fit my walking boot! UGH.

Chin up look good under all that pressure :)

Alita August 31, 2010 at 7:50 PM  

Um... I love my jammies still. So don't feel bad. Oh and my jeans stayed out of reach for like 2 months with my 1st born. I never left our "cave" (that is what we called it then) back in the day.


Anika September 1, 2010 at 10:34 AM  

I think yer still lookin' good girl!!

Very funny post! So I am not the only one who used the "facilities" with a baby?? Very good to know. Thanks for sharing and for the good laugh! Keep up the great work Momma!!

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