30 Weeks Pregnant With A Bean

Sunday, June 6, 2010


Let me start of by saying, I don't typically sit around taking pictures of myself. I used to, a lot, back when I was single, oooh 6 or 7 years ago. I especially used to try extra hard at taking flattering pictures of myself (pictures that didn't really look like me, but were me), to post on Myspace or Friendster, whichever website I was using at the time.

I had low self esteem, and felt the need to over glamorize myself. You know what I'm talking about, right? The "I'm skinny, really" pictures, where you hold the camera up at a looking-down-at-you type angle, hoping to trick everyone? Too bad the entire world caught onto that one real quick. Photo fail. Or- I'd load myself up with so much makeup that when somebody finally did get the shock of seeing me without it, they'd ask me if I was sick (that really happened, more than once), or worse, they wouldn't even recognize me at all.

...I can't believe I ever cared so much.



This is what I really look like. Those are my real freckles, thats my real eye color, and that camera angle is looking at me from straight on, no tricks involved. There is nothing but a small smear of lip gloss across my pout, and a single swipe of mascara on my lashes to enhance my features. I often like to hide behind my thick rimmed glasses, so I made sure to take those off too. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I don't recognize myself. Maybe its because I don't do it as often as I used to (look at myself, I mean), or maybe its because I've changed so much? Either way, I for some reason felt it necessary to tell all of you about this, and to show you what I really look like.

And if I can show you what my face really looks like, then I can show you the rest of the pictures I took too...

*********************


I had been telling myself for weeks months, that I'd do a maternity shoot. I've been saying in my head, every week for the last 3 months, that one day when I was fresh out of the shower, I'd grab my camera and take some pictures of my pregnancy.

One week ran into another, this excuse became that one, there were more dinners to cook and more muffins to bake, yadda yadda blah blah-

But today, after arguing with my husband over a whole lot of nothing (hes switching to swing shift starting tomorrow, theres tension), I took that as my cue to escape. I grabbed my camera, announced that I'd be taking a shower, and headed upstairs for an undetermined amount of time. I showered, I dried and curled my hair (rare, but I do occassionally try), and then I had myself a nice little photo shoot.

I started out using my tripod, but after several failed attempts, it just wasn't working out. I moved drawers to clear wall space, but then the lighting was wrong. I set the self timer on my Rebel, but then the focus was off. It was one thumbs down after another, and just as I was about to put my lens cap on and go downstairs without a single picture of my silhouette, I figured going into the bathroom and doing it the old fashioned way of point-and-shoot-at-the-mirror, was worth a try.



Standing there in my tank top and underwear, I adjusted the depth, and snapped a shot. It wasn't until pushing the play button, that I realized I wasn't wearing pants. While I was initially embarrassed, even though nobody else was there to laugh at me, It wasn't a bad dream- I decided that maybe this was how I was meant to take these pictures.

So I snapped another...



While this next one turned out blurry and slanted to the right- it was accurate. I was smiling, my belly was showing, and Bean began to kick.

Just like Bean is kicking right now while I write this.



Last night I started playing the "do you think..." game.

"Do you think Bean will have light hair like Elie did, or dark hair like Charlie?".

"Do you think Bean will be small like Elie was when she was born, or bigger like Charlie?".

"Do you think that Bean will-"

The do you think's go on forever.



My feet are hidden underneath me. I rarely see them, but I know they exist. You can tell that my legs and toes see way more sun than the rest of my skin. I typically wear shorts on my morning walks, and almost always choose flip flops when we go outside to play.

My belly is big enough now, that its taken on a mind of its own. This week alone, I've almost caught my shirt on fire, I've knocked over more than one water glass (luckily, none have broken), and I've accidentally turned on the dishwasher with the slightest of nudges.

At 30 weeks, Bean should be about 3 pounds in weight, and over 15 inches long.



Have I mentioned how weird I feel about taking pictures of myself? I think I have.

In the short amount of time that has passed since taking these pictures though, I'm already very pleased with having done it. If I wouldn't have taken the time today, I probably would have put it off for another week. And then another. And then another.

I have a few pregnant Mama pictures from when I was creating Eleanore, pictures that we took towards the very end of my last trimester, during one of the few weekends that Christopher was allowed to leave his training base and visit me in my nearby apartment.

I took a couple of pictures while I was pregnant with Charlie, just simple shots in the downstairs bathroom, the toilet paper roll holder in the background nearly always being empty (a bad habit I've since cracked down on). That same year, we had family portraits taken at a local studio (not something we normally do, but I'm glad we did), and we ended up taking a maternity shot or two- which are now hanging up on display in our upstairs hallway. I stopped to look at them earlier today, in complete amazement of how quickly our lives are playing out.



Alright, so not all of my pictures turned out the way they were supposed to. At least now you know that we're stocked up on toilet paper, and that we use black bath towels (thanks again, Mom, we love them!).



This was my favorite shot out of all of them. And I think it was the last one I took. You can only pose so many ways, when standing in front of your bathroom mirror, trying to get pictures of your belly.

I'm glad I took the time to finally do this. Even if I only take one or two more pictures during this pregnancy, which very well may be my last, I'll be completely satisfied.

Let it be known, little Bean, that you are very loved.


28 comments:

yobokitty June 6, 2010 at 10:33 PM  

aw, omigoodness, you are adorable!

and may i say? i've seen pictures of you when you were wearing all your makeup and everything, and, while i think you were pretty then, i think you're much prettier without all of the extras.

either way though ::

you are such a pretty lady, both outside and in.

Lacey June 6, 2010 at 10:58 PM  

I just knew 'following you', being your bloggy friend, was a good idea. It's posts like this that prove you are a beautiful person, a beautiful Mom. I'm glad to know you. Take care, Bean! I can't wait to see you and learn all about you. :)

H.N. Gordon June 6, 2010 at 11:24 PM  

I LOVE them! Having always had image issues with myself, one of the few times I did take pictures was when I was pregnant with my little miracle baby. It was the only time I can remember that I was proud to see my belly and count the new stretch marks!

Thank you for posting this. I know lots of women who wouldn't have the courage and might now that you have done it too.

Oh, and I hate swing shift! Hubby was on it for 2 solid years and didn't get to go on days until after his deployment. I hate, hate, HATE it!

Beka @ hold on, love . . .,  June 6, 2010 at 11:30 PM  

Oh, wow.
Those are beautiful, Tia.
You're beautiful, and the Bean...awwww:)

Naked faces are some of the best.
They're real.
(I have, in the past few months since getting mascara for the first time, dropped eyeliner just because it's less stuff to wash off and one less step in getting put-together. Whereas I used to be almost addicted to eyeliner, because it made me look more...like everyone on the covers of everything. That's not important.)

I absolutely love the lighting. All natural and a wee bit washed-out.

And by the way?-cute undies, to be frank. Gotta love polka-dots!

I love all the shades of blue in the photo shoot--your 'outfit', the towels...all the white. :D

*sigh* Sorry--I can't help it.
Twas a lovely Mama-n-the-Bean photoshoot. And the Bean is sooo loved:)

Beka @ hold on, love . . .,  June 6, 2010 at 11:34 PM  

Oh, wow.
You're beautiful. And the Bean is adorable and getting bigger:)
I love the light! Natural and a bite washed out.
I wrote a whole nice novel of a comment but Google-friend-thing is being a somethin-somethin tonight. Booo:(
By the way, to be frank? Cute undies--gotta love polka-dots.

Naked faces are the best, y'know?
So real. Realness is appreciated:)
That's all my brain can remember from the comment that was lost in cyberspace, darnit. Gosh, the Bean isn't that far off from coming! Time flies:)

Megan June 6, 2010 at 11:56 PM  

So cute.

I agree with Yobo, you're gorgeous. And I love your freckles. I wish mine were more prominent but they only come out after a day in the sun.

Mary June 7, 2010 at 12:27 AM  

haha, I did the same thing when I was younger.... who am I kidding I still do!

your pics are great:)

Bombdigity June 7, 2010 at 2:04 AM  

Tia, you are beautiful!!! Just you, in all your freckliness and gentle eyes ... I hope that you can see it =o)

Was Bean moving while you were taking pictures? In one of the sets, where there are 2 pics side-by-side, it looks like maybe he/she was stretching or moving ... the lower part of your belly looked different, like baby bottom pushing against belly different =o)

undomestic chica June 7, 2010 at 2:12 AM  

You're adorable! And I love the case in your pictures too

indgiotwin June 7, 2010 at 5:39 AM  

you are a beautiful woman and pregnancy just enhances it! I am the mom of three little children and you have to know that the joy they bring you now will just be multiplied when the third arrives. Especially when you see them bond and play together....having three is very special.

Oh Mandie! June 7, 2010 at 8:22 AM  

Pregnancy agrees with you Tia, you definatly have a glow about you courtesy of the bean.

I was too self conscience to take pictures of myself during both of my pregnancies, and its one of my biggest regrets. You're beautiful and those shots, perfect and imperfect show that clearly.

Yellow House June 7, 2010 at 8:29 AM  

I love that you did this! They are so joyful, fun, and real.

CourtneyKeb June 7, 2010 at 10:00 AM  

You write the #1 blog I love to read, follow, and love.

I relate so much to you, and I'm so glad I found you!

Take it from someone who definitely knows how it is to also hide behind thick rimmed glasses and from someone who also used to frequently be assumed sick if I wore no make up....
you are someone to look up to, and you're beautiful with your round belly, freckles, and matching panties.

<3

Christina June 7, 2010 at 10:08 AM  

You really are beautiful. :) And you look great overall! You have a nice pregnant belly and the rest of you looks so thin to me! I hope I can reach my goal this year of losing a certain amount of weight so I can look like that too! :) I love your freckles! You are not only cute, you're a hot mama! :P

Caroline @ The Feminist Housewife June 7, 2010 at 11:03 AM  

You are too cute! I love your transparency. You are so awesome!

Mommy Elephant Sarah June 7, 2010 at 12:27 PM  

Awww Tia you have nothing to worry about!! You are very beautiful!! I never knew you had freckles! I do too! I use to hate the ones on my face back in HS! I was convinced that was why the boys didn't like me!! :( Funny how things change as you get older!! I just love all the belly shots! Can't wait to see Bean!! Xox!

considerthelillies June 7, 2010 at 1:35 PM  

I totally agree with Christina! You look beautiful without makeup, love your freckles and you look like you are in great shape! Those morning walks are working!

Colleen June 7, 2010 at 1:37 PM  

Love this post! You look beautiful with or without makeup. The photo shoot sounds like an excellent way to spend a little alone time and you have such wonderful pictures as a result.

mil cositas bellas June 7, 2010 at 3:58 PM  

just came accross your blog, i am myself 23 weeks pregnant with my second. you look awesome i only hope to look as good as you 7 weeks from now. its not going so great with all the ho-ho cravings. :)

Allison the Meep June 7, 2010 at 4:04 PM  

Oh my gosh, you're gorgeous! You don't need a bit of makeup - you have perfect skin.

And the belly pictures are too cute.

AlyGatr June 7, 2010 at 4:11 PM  

You are BRAVE...and look beautiful. You've worked so hard to make your body healthy and keep it that way all through your pregnancy. Good for you for documenting it. I wish I looked half that good NOW, much less when I was preggie.

CraftGirlAlli June 7, 2010 at 5:21 PM  

I love your freckles!! And you're brave for posting those shots...but now I know why you did...because you look GREAT and have nothing to hide! You're giving me baby fever!

The Paper Mama June 8, 2010 at 8:46 AM  

You are beautiful. Those preggo photos are very lovely and should be hanging proudly on your wall!

Desiree Fawn June 8, 2010 at 2:00 PM  

Eee! So pretty!
And those are the cutest panties ever!

They call me mommy... June 9, 2010 at 6:28 PM  

Beautiful mommy!! Thats all I can say (=

Johanna June 9, 2010 at 10:12 PM  

these are amazing Tia! Thank you for sharing them- I'm so glad you took them, for yourself and for the bean.
Oh and you look gorgeous "au natural" with a few added things like mascara and lip gloss...fresh, natural and oh so cute.

Kunklebaby June 10, 2010 at 7:57 PM  

Cute belly shots!! You'll be holding that new little one before you know it! Time goes so fast, it's nice to record it with photo's!

You look like a happy & healthy pregnant mama!

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