Monday, August 17, 2009
The story of Eleanore's birth didn't play out the way it was written in my head. I had jotted down notes on how to breathe properly, sorted through and organized previously read paragraphs on how my water would or could break, and mentally prepared myself for the beautiful doom that would be heading directly toward my lady zone at full speed, leaving a gruesome path of disaster behind it. I was ready.
Things took a gradual yet quicker than expected turn onto a road titled "not how you planned to give birth", and after 20 hours of labor (12 of that being un medicated), my energy and will had run out, and a major abdominal surgery was in order.
I drifted in and out of sleep, my eyes covered in a new layer of motherhood, scanning my surroundings for my daughter who I had only seen for a second. I asked the nurse who was sitting at a table in the corner, for my family, over and over again. With every repeat request, she told me to close my eyes and go back to sleep. She got so annoyed at my constant grumbles, that she couldn't stand being in the same room with me, got up, walked out, and finally returned with my husband and daughter. It felt like I waited for hours.
I just wanted to hold her. My arms were stretched out for her before she was even in the room.
It was love at first sight, completely indescribable.
She was beautiful. And perfect. A reason to wake up every morning. This is what life was supposed to feel like.
Happy 3rd Birthday Miss Eleanore Sue. We love you.