Monday, June 22, 2009
My body has officially gone on strike.
I've been working my butt off. I stepped it up to level 2 of the shred, finishing day 12 about 10 minutes ago. I eat Salads every day, usually for both lunch and dinner. I've been pushing myself until my muscles can't hold anymore and collapse under the burn. I've splashed around in puddles of my own sweat. I've hacked up god knows what, after chasing after my own breath for 20 minutes at a time. I've sacrificed my skin and sanity, to Jillian Michaels. And did I mention I'm still breastfeeding? Its an impossible scene that I've set up for myself, but that hasn't stopped me from trying.
Yesterday I went to the store in hopes of buying some kind of swim suit contraption that would allow me to dip into the kiddy pool with the kids. Um... fail. I left Target with a pair of board shorts, but when I got home realized that once I was in them, even though I had previously tried them on in the fitting rooms, I couldn't move. I didn't like how they felt or look, so decided to wear shorts and a tank top instead. I felt heavy and bloated. The weight of the soggy shorts and tank top only intensified that. I don't want to hide myself under layers of cotton. I want to wear a swim suit dangit. Struggles aside, we had a fun time in the pool.
Today I stepped on the scale. +3 lbs, it says.
Heavy feeling? Bloated? Emotional? Weight gain? ....Maybe this is just my non period. I call it my non period, because I haven't had a period in a million years, but once a month I feel like I'm going to. My lack of a cycle has also caused us to purchase infinity pregnancy tests throughout the months (please tell me I'm not the only one who's done this?), but I'll save that for another rant.
I'm going to burn my scale. And when I'm done with that, I'm going to burn all the calories in the world by mowing my lawn.