I'm motivated.

So, my reasons for needing to go to the gym are starting to pile up. My daughters pool has been inflated in the front yard, and filled with water for the past 3 days. Its been 95 degrees, which is ideal kiddy pool swimming weather. Its not that I can't get in it, because if I really wanted to, I could. I could put on my too-big maternity suit and tough it out like a big girl. I could even jump in with my clothes on, who's gonna stop me? Really, I just don't want anybody to see me. My thighs, my cleavage... ick. And then I started planning this trip to Hawaii. We're not going anytime soon, not for 2 years at least, but while I'm there, I want to walk the beach in a bikini. Dream big, I know. Me, in a bikini? Better put on my running shoes and start now. My chest size, thats a big reason. Walking around with a pair of H cups (yeah thats not a typo) gets tiresome. And if that wasn't enough, I just had to come across an old friends networking page last night and see that shes lost an entire person in weight. I'll admit it... I'm jealous. Yep, I said it. I've talked it over with Christopher for days, how I could get myself to the gym every day. Something always comes up. He comes home, and I get distracted. Instead of going, I want to play with the kids outside. Or I have to cook dinner. Or Charlie needs to eat. Or a good TV show comes on. Or... wow... see, I can find any reason not to go. Really I need to get off my butt and get moving. I'm 5 lbs away from reaching my first goal. 5 lbs, that's it. And that swimsuit up there (size 16, Lane Bryant), I want to wear it this summer while I play in the sun with my kids. Usually I'd put off buying it, and say something like "I'll wait, and then buy it when I'm a size smaller". No, I'm just going to buy my actual size, and wear it now. But my solution to all of this? Its a sucky one, but its the best one. Wake up at 4:45 every morning and hit the gym before the kids wake up and the husband heads off to work. Its early, I'll be cranky, but it will be done and out of the way, and I won't be able to talk my way out of it. Just get up and go. I know tomorrow is a Saturday, but that's when it starts. I'm officially motivated, and dead set on taking my life back. Bikini, here I come.