The curse of the Sasquatch mug.

My husband breaks things. Hes clumsy. Hes not fully aware of the size of his body, and therefor has no control over the way it moves. Its not entirely his fault though. On top of his protein shakes and creatine powder, I stuff him full of as much food as humanly possible. When we first started dating, we were both on a diet strictly of coffee, cigarettes, ramen, and beer. After my motherly instincts kicked in, (and we had enough money to pay for food, really) I started loading him up on the calories. We don't eat unhealthy, we eat quite the opposite. Some would probably describe us as "health freaks". Its a stretch to us, but probably the most accurate. My food allergies give us no choice. He can still eat a lot of the things that I can't, he just chooses not to. I appreciate the choice, by the way. I probably wouldn't be able to live if it wasn't for his lack of gluten. That's not an exaggeration.

Anyways, so Christopher breaks stuff. Sasquatch, I call him. You've probably read his nickname a few times here and there, as I joke about this all too often. Well for Christmas, I had a mug customized for him. "Sasquatch", it would say. I ordered it in plenty of time, and the seller promised to have it to me by Christmas. A friend of mine, also ordered a mug, the same day. She ordered hers first actually. I copied her. The gift was too perfect not to. Hers didn't say Sasquatch though, instead it was appropriate for her and her husband.

So then the mugs break. We both get emails, me and the friend, saying that she somehow broke the mugs in her kiln, and has to start over. OK, no big deal, as long as its here by Christmas, right? A few days pass, maybe a week or more, and she still assures us that our mugs will be delivered by Christmas. Next she says shes overnight'ing them, which as you know, around Christmas time, is the cost of a small house pretty much. I didn't argue though, seeing as how she was trying right her wrong. Christmas eve comes and goes, no package. The friend got hers, but I didn't get mine. I was really disappointed, but also preoccupied by the birth of my son, that was taking place in just a few hours.

The package came the day after Christmas. I wasn't too upset, knowing that it was an honest mistake, and got over it after about a second. Christopher brought it from the house when he came to visit me and new-baby in the hospital, along with a few other packages we had gotten from friends and family. He opened it up, and loved it. He proudly showed everyone that came to visit us, the nurses even. He used it to drink his cafeteria coffee out of, until the day we left the hospital. Sadly, that was the only coffee the Sasquatch mug ever saw.

As we were leaving the hospital, packing things up, Christopher has a brilliant idea to wrap up his new mug, inside of a baby blanket. That way it wouldn't get broken. How could it, under layers upon layers of padding? I didn't have the energy to comment on his packing plans, I just let him do what he wanted to while I tried to recover from my surgery. I'll leave out the part where he lost my shoes in the process, and I had to wear his dirty man slippers home. Oh wait, I just brought it up didn't I? *scowls at Christopher*

Shortly after getting home, I'm cozying up on the couch, stitches in my belly, a baby in my arms, and I hear Christopher say "whats wrong with this blanket"? Before I could say anything, or even finish turning my head towards him, its too late. He throws the blanket out, almost like hes sprawling out a rug, and then in slow motion.... the mug shatters. Into a million tiny Sasquatch pieces.

I cried uncontrollably (just a tad hormonal), and we didn't talk about the mug for weeks.

For Valentines Day, I knew I had to get him another one. He had felt so guilty about breaking the last one, I think maybe he even cried over it, I had to put him out of his misery. Plus, I really wanted him to have a special mug of his very own. One of my Air Force wife/etsy/blogger/twitter friends, had recently gotten me a "zombies ate my brains" mug, and he was jealous. She had gotten it for me before I had gotten him his, so that made the loss of "Sasquatch" even more unbearable. I ordered him another one. "Sasquatch II" it would say. Cute right? I know, hehe.

A few weeks pass, and finally I hear back from the seller. I had explained to her what happened. She offered me a discount, considering the story was so sad. I think she might have even offered to make me another one for free, but I had declined, telling her I'd like to pay for it, since it was my husbands Sasquatch hands that broke it this time around, and not hers. Weeks later, she sends me a picture of the finished product, telling me its on the way. Great, its going to be here in time for Valentines Day! I had a matching card made and everything. "If you're a Sasquatch, I'm a Sasquatch". Perfect, right? ...and then I see the picture.

No. I wanted it to say "Sasquatch II". I thought she knew that? I had mentioned it in 2 separate messages to her. In a way I felt guilty, like maybe I should just accept it for what it was, but then decided "no, this is what I ordered, and it would mean so much more if the outcome was what I wanted". So I politely convo'd her back, and asked her to please fix it. I didn't hear from her for a few days, and then when I did, she said she'd remake it, and I'd have it in time for Valentines Day still. Insert sigh of relief here.

Valentines Day. No mug. What the hell.

I send her a convo, and she replies saying its not finished. I'm starting to get aggravated, but keep my cool, and decide to turn it into an Anniversary present instead. I run out and get Christopher a Valentines Day roasting pan instead. He had no idea, so it worked out fine. Our anniversary isn't until March 19, which is more than a month away, surely, we'll have it by then. ...Do you see where this is heading?

The 19th is getting closer, and still, there hasn't been a mug in my mailbox since last December. I convo her yet again, just to double check that it will be ready, since I haven't heard from her in weeks. And no... its not ready. This time, she says, her kiln has broken. She says she can either express mail the plain "Sasquatch", which isn't the mug I had ordered this time, or she can send me a picture of the unfinished "Sasquatch II". I take a deep breath, print out the picture, and accept that it will not be here in time.

She says she thinks I deserve a refund. But I don't want a refund. I like her mugs, I want my husband to have one. And when he breaks that one (because I know he will), I want him to have another one. So I ask her, if rather than sending me my money back, can she please make me a "Sasquatch III" instead?

No response. Rather than convo'ing me back, she ignores my request completely, and instead, goes ahead and refunds my money. Lady... seriously? Whats your problem?

So, here it is, March 24th. And the mug that I ordered on Feb 4th, still doesn't exist. When it gets here, I'm sure it will be cursed. The damn thing has failed, what, 4 times now?

Wish us luck...