Orange spots and broken futons.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

When we first moved to Abilene, from Wichita Falls (where Christopher went to his Air Force tech school), we were living in a base hotel. It was just like a super miniature apartment really. However, it was built horribly and the bedroom door didn't close all the way. And the walls were paper thin, so we could hear everything, and I do mean everything, that the neighbors were doing. I didn't need to hear Mr. Neighbor belching after dinner. Or Mrs. Neighbor blowing her nose at 6 in the morning. But, you take what you can get, right? I can't remember how long we stayed there, but it was much too long. 2 weeks maybe? We didn't have any of our things yet, they were still on their way down from Washington state. We had moved everything into my parents basement before Christopher left for Basic Training, and then the military went and packed it and moved it sometime that summer. Finally we found an apartment in Abilene, over by the mall. It was our first 2 bedroom place, since we had a newly introduced baby Eleanore in the family. A few minutes after we got the keys, the movers pulled up with a giant trailer full of our Portland past. They moved it in quickly, and left before we knew it. I had no idea how much I loved my stuff/junk, until I had to go 4 months without any of it. My parents had sent along a few extras, like a dresser, a bed frame, a baby swing, things of that nature. Christopher and I had bought our first mattress set earlier that week, and it was delivered later that day. We had previously been sleeping on a broken Ikea futon. The first piece of furniture I ever bought on my own *sigh*. So that night while I'm laying on the bed, I notice a spot on the ceiling. Just a tiny little orange spot. I look away, chat with Christopher, pump some breast milk, do whatever. When I lay back down, the spot has moved? Its in a different place? No ...I'm probably just crazy. I go get something to drink, peek in at the sleeping baby, come back and lay down. OK, the spot has moved again. Its gone. Spots don't disappear like that, do they? What kind of spot was that? Wait! There's the spot, on the wall! I focus in on it, trying to figure out what it is, and then I realize, its a lizard? We don't have those back home. Is that really a itsy bitsy tiny orange lizard? So I say to Christopher "...See that spot?". Of course he doesn't, and has to look all around for it, even though I'm pointing right at it and there no way anyone could possibly miss it, unless you're Christopher. Finally he says "Oh. What is that?". "I think its a lizard" I answer. He tilts his head slightly to the right, the way a dog does when you make a funny noise, and then he goes "WOW!", like an excited little boy. He goes up to it to catch it in his cupped hands, and it very quickly squiggles down the wall, and then poof hes gone! I immediately start freaking out. Its not the lizard I'm afraid of. Its that I don't know where the lizard is, and I'm afraid I'm going to wake up in the middle of the night with an orange friend on my face. I swear I saw him run down onto the carpet and head my way. I repeat this over and over again. "He squiggled, and then ran this way!". Christopher looks and looks, and finds nothing. "Did you look there?!" I insist. "What about behind that, look behind that!". So then he starts telling me that lizards only like hard surfaces. He says that the lizard wouldn't be on the carpet or bedding, because its too hard for him to walk on. He tells me that I need to be checking the walls and ceilings, because thats where I'll find the little guy. So all night, when I go into the bathroom or down the hall, I'm scanning the walls thinking the lizard is going to be just standing there clear as day. Eventually we go to sleep, and I feel safe knowing I won't wake up to him on my face, but still on edge because I don't know where the damn thing is. 3am rolls around, and I have to wake up to pump some milk. I would have just breast fed Eleanore, but my G cup (yep, you read that right) was 5 times larger than baby's tiny little head, and it just wasn't happening. So I spent 3 hours a day hooked up to a machine, for 6 months. She can't say I never did anything for her huh? OK, so its 3am, and I sit up in bed with my eyes still closed. I reach for my pump, yank it up onto the bed with me, get all situated, and start going to town. Christopher had gotten up with me, and when he turned on the light it took my eyes a second to focus. I look down, and crawling out of my breast pump and looking up at me, is the lizard!! Milk goes everywhere as I'm frantically scooting away from it. I thought they didn't like soft surfaces!!! Why is he running around all over the bed?! ... Why Christopher! My liar of a husband caught the lizard in a tiny juice glass that he had previously brought into the bedroom for that very reason, and released him outside. "You wouldn't have gone to sleep if I hadn't have made that up, would you?". ...hes got a point. Lie accepted.


Helen April 16, 2008 at 10:26 AM  

You've got the best blog! What a fun read :)

zazazu April 16, 2008 at 11:59 AM  

What a cool blog! I love the way you intersperse your writing with pics of Etsy items. So cool!

madhattermama April 16, 2008 at 1:17 PM  

haha that is funny. I would have freaked alittle to. steph used to catch blue bellied lizards all the time when we lived in ventura.

jessicajane April 16, 2008 at 1:58 PM  

Haha, cute story. Sounds like something my hub would say to me. And about the nost having furniture thing, thats me right now! I moved to CA 6 months ago, and we still dont have furniture. My husband is in the marines and going to school the time he is done in November, we wont even need our furniture anymore....As I type this, I am sitting on the floor. Haha.

Diana April 16, 2008 at 10:05 PM  

Tia, I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Maybe both simultaneously and then have myself committed.

I can not stand the creepy crawlies. I turn into a stereotypical girlie-girl chicken bawl baby if anything skutters near me.

I would have grabbed the baby and ran, leaving the pump and the apartment for the lizard. I don't easily get over stuff like that.

Did you say, 'Gs?????' Ouch. Poor baby. By baby I mean you.

Btw, my pic on my blog? Dude, I said that was Before Children. Seriously, you wouldn't even recognize me now. It was fun, though, then.

Live, young one, LIVE!!!


missfire April 17, 2008 at 1:14 AM  

What a great story!

I'd like to think my hubby would lie for me too. :) So cute.

Kristen April 23, 2008 at 4:33 PM  

Tia, you have the best stories! My life would not be the same without you!

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